I’m wondering if I made a mistake

— I’m wondering if I made a mistake, going global —


 

I wonder, if I made a mistake trusting global issues, were better than local issues. Especially when the world looks for their own gain, as a collective power, then when you have a difference from that, you’re judged as a peon, and the peons have no voice to the collective.

Well, like a fly’s wings to the collective body, they take a swat at you rather than hear your point of view.

I woke up to the real picture, I was sucked into my ego’s spin with this web page that seemed to be hosted by some spam site, that isn’t fair to Siteground, they do offer spam sites hosting sites, and they do offer your own server, if you are willing to pay for it.

They stuck me on a shared spam server…or serving in the USA, that was their only choice a spam server. Which Google has a problem with, they say I can’t connect with that server, unless I put 0.0.0.0/0, thus allowing all servers in my youtube API.

I don’t know, if I should give up looking to author an impressive site, you get caught up trying to prove yourself, rather than writing for the joy of writing.

 

It was pretty much that way with music, rather than playing the guitar to relax and enjoy, I was writing songs to impress the masses that heard them. Let’s face it, I sucked.

I enjoyed the music most of all, even if it sucked, it made me happy. The joy went to the high hills when the ego got involved, and my happiness was trying to please my ego, and my ego was never satisfied.

I haven’t been serious playing, since my stroke, which is coming up to 11th year anniversary at the end of this September, I mean I played about a week, then next year about a week again.

I don’t have any surface feeling in my right hand, and that feeling progressed to my brain, to have no feeling in the motivation dept..

It’s been over a decade since I enjoyed playing music, now I just like listening to music.

The next year in the Spring is the 20th anniversary since I left NY, and I said I would die here, I’ve been thinking of returning to NY… NOT!

I’ll try to maintain my integrity here, till I’m put into exile again.

The spirits drive me… and I’ve only been teased here with fantasies, I don’t equate sex with love, sex is a treat of love, but not equal to love. Love is clouded with suspicions here, love is questioned “what I want for it?”. The answer is always nothing.

Love is not questioned and has no nefarious agendas, though there are people that give you justifications for those suspicions.

I heard a song of mine on Reverbnation called Over The Sea .

 

 

I wrote this before I left NY, when I enjoyed the music and the ego was under my control, I was riding the ego, instead of the ego riding me. I didn’t enjoy music when the ego took the saddle, I wanted to impress others, rather than writing the song for the song’s purpose. If you don’t write music, well I don’t write music, I’m a free spirited creator, well that was the way when I enjoyed music before 2004.

Someone wrote me that he was listening to that song, I had to approve his comment… SpeirosMusic

Reverbnation is a good site, but they encourage the ego to take the saddle, not the artist to take the saddle and ride, they make money when your ego is in control.

The ego is a deceptive creature, and it’s the core of you, so you’re the deceptive creature when you’re under your ego’s control… think of the ego as a horse, that you ride through the forest of life, it doesn’t go well when the horse is riding you… it makes for a good sitcom pilot though.

 

The song Peace I enjoyed more than Over the Sea, it was a basic sequence that I made on the Korg T-3 keyboard, and dubbed the other instruments over that backing rhythm. I would like this to be played at my funeral… or in remembrance of me, since I don’t see me having a funeral…more like reminisces of me.

 

PEACE

One river divides
And two lives decide
Is it right to force a change?
Is it right to break away?
Well, who am I to say
But its got to be
PEACE to the wishes, PEACE to the thoughts
Peace from these hands of change
LOVE for the humble, LOVE to the proud
Its Love overcoming the rage

There’s an anger for injustice
A flame that burns with pride
But there’s hope for the future
with the faith you’re holding inside
Let it out
With No Doubt!
cause its got to be

PEACE to the wishes, PEACE to the thoughts
Peace from these hands of change
LOVE for the humble, LOVE to the proud
Its Love overcoming the rage
Please! walk this way

Its LOVE for the humble, LOVE to the proud
Its Love overcoming the rage
Peace from the wishes, Peace to the thoughts
Peace from these hands of change
PEACE!

 

 

Let love rule your thoughts and actions is the message of this song, but that’s my mistake… it’s the same message for centuries from the beginning of time, and I thought you needed to hear it again. I made it as catchy as I can, I just wish I had a talented voice. Peace, instead of Drones for peace, drones just recruits more enemies to make an neverending war machine.
I made the same mistake, I voiced my views.

 

Well this next song is what blues should sound like… Eric Bibb – “Don’t let nobody drag your spirit down”