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04 Tomidjah’s Say – August


Tomidjah’s Journal

Where I talk to myself, and make sense of this corruptible world, and remove the errors from my mind, for sanity’s purposes… when I read, what I’ve written here, in my peace of mind in silence.


Lauren Daigle
Don’t Believe Them

I went on FB and made references to my name Richard(Dick), and middle names William(Willie), and confirmation names Peter(Rock Hard), with names like that, with McNerney which means in Irish “Steward of Church Estates”, and Tomidjah/Tamidjah which means “eternally flowing with integrity with God” according to college professor who knew modern Hebrew… and since “God is Spirit” according to Jesus, I won’t die.

It may be all of a crock of shit with religions, but it makes things grow healthily in agriculture fields, so why not believe it as a source of nutrition, and be happy with that.

I’ve had a rough life living in a fantasy world all my life, and being judged by my neighbor, and attacked by the serpent in masturbation wars in my puberty years, I eventually grew up, and was deceived by religions and delusions, to further my steps down a dark road called life, with my little Jesus flashlight that enlightened all that was around me… so I didn’t get bumped in the darkness.

Fear has a way with bumps in the darkness, and is looking to crush you in your ignorance… but as long as the light of Jesus burns in you, and your faith in the holy comforter/spirit to shine on your path, so you see the dangers on your paths… Love God with all your heart and soul, and you fulfilled all the law… the backsliding is just a treat for a dog, in my mind at least.

I have nicknames that have a bad inclination of meaning, but the real names have a noble definitions… so the world is full of wars, to weaken my standings in this world… but God’s graces, except for the healings, but there are graces in that too… so I shouldn’t complain and whine victimhood, but be thankful for the chance to breathe, and be paid to live comfortably… which I should be thankful for.

I have no reason to complain… except for the physical painful annoyances, but I’m not destroyed and abandoned… though sometimes the silences get heavier, than normal times… then I think of Simon and Garfunkel song the Sound of Silence, and get hope again… it’s my therapy and rehabilitation… after hearing that, I guess I am healed.


This is the Last Day of August,
And September Starts Tomorrow,
I found a new way to see what months
Have 31 days…knuckles and depressions

Junkyards Parts

Click on the pic to see the larger pic

I‘ve been trying to make sense of this world in my conscientiousness of my mind, and I feel like I’m lost in a junkyards of society, and my own personal junkyard in my mind.

I found another bug with wordpress, it doesn’t update the media libraries, I have to commit to publish, before I finished with authoring the Page… to see the updates, I have to load another tab with the Media library, to upload the media, but it doesn’t update the Page’s media authoring without committing to update the page… and publishing it.

Well, I’m not finished with authoring it… so it’s a bug to me and my workflow… and needs to be updated in the media library, as well as all media libraries… the page authoring as well.

That’s my own personal junkyard, and it’s a mess… I’ve been trying make it neater, and understandable, where I don’t have to waste time looking under things, to find the things that are useful… I’m talking virtually here… within my virtual mind’s junkyard… including memories and thoughts.

Well, I have a lot of work to do with my mind’s junkyard, it’s getting messy, and I need bigger heavier equipment to clean it up, and move some piles out of my consciousness into the oblivion pile in my subconscious level, there are so many levels in the mind as well, as your personal computers.

It’s more like ethical madness, growing wild and without control… wild propagation, the way of weeds… parasites without a discovered use yet, they only want a part of life and breathe… it’s their God given right to seek the light of the Sun.
Their wildness needs to be put in check, though they’re not the only ones in the world… and their selfishness is a better word to be put in check.


The correction of 31 days at top, and the methods of knowing 31 days months, it means counting the pinky knuckle twice, and reversing the count in the other direction… start on the January, and move to the depression between knuckles, is a month where the it’s 30 days, or a leap year month 28-29 days February… every depression is one of those months.

But I learned it from David tonight, he said he learned it in school as a kid, but you had to count the pinky knuckle twice July and August, cause they’re both 31 days months, then you reverse it and it moves in the opposite direction, which then it moves to September, which is a 30 days month…

Depression= space between knuckles
Knuckles = Boney prominences on hand
It’s old school, but it’s better than remembering the limerick or poem:
Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty-one, Excepting February alone,
And that has twenty-eight days clear And twenty-nine in each leap year.
It’s easier to count, then recall my memories… so I have one more day to enter an entry, for the month of August… and it took more space to write, in digital format, instead of mental format… cause I had problems with that poem, since I first heard it.
Another way is of learning it is every other month is 31 days starting with January, but when you get to July and August, which are both 31 days months, and then you start the every other month progression again, till you end it in December…
Now, I have no problem with remembering which month has 31 days.


Across the Universe

This is my end too, nothing is going to change my freedom of searching for God, I sought the meaning of “Jai Guru Deva” which means “Victory to God divine” in some way …it’s Sikh monotheistic religion where it puts all the idols into one, “that the Creator, Preserver, and Destroyer is One.

Sikhism noun:
1. The doctrines of a monotheistic religion founded in northern India in the 16th century by Guru Nanak and combining elements of Hinduism and Islam

I had a problem with Hinduism cause there were many Gods, but I could relate to one God, cause I was raised a Christian, that included all of life into one God… and it made sense to me. I was studying Hinduism, but it must’ve been Sikhism, I heard that they saw all the Gods into one entity.
It brought me more into focus of my world religions class in SJC, that went out of business.

I understand it more better now… a clearer picture of what God is… I know God lives inside of us, but it’s a clearer understanding now… God lives inside of all of us, and as we judge others, it brings us closer to making God sadder, with blame for us, for making God’s displeasure.

Religions are the cause of all the chaos in the world, and the greed of powers and riches, but we don’t own anything, and we’re just borrowing its uses, as we pay rent for living with these graces, but graces are free, or should be.

Politics is the religion’s parasite, its makes it’s progressions with lies, as their food/diet… which is the blood system for their body, and it feeds their other organs that construct their body… it’s like Frankenstein’s Monster, the political body… it’s my sick visions, I see the correlations to those visions, of the political body of humankind, of all the nations, are as organs of the Earth’s body.

Each nation, is an organ of the body of Earth… it’s my sick mind babbling from the ground, as the pressure from my insides… of the core truths.

I’ll stop babbling now… Babble on Hos


Scent of a Woman
ending was the whole Movie

It brought me to tears again, it never gets old defending integrity, which is the sprout of new life mixed with the trash of this world’s new digital technology… which overshadows the new sprout seeking the Sun for new growth.

Integrity – noun:
1. An undivided or unbroken completeness, or totality with nothing wanting
2. Moral soundness

Still brings me to tears, because of my deep integrity, and wanting to be understood normally, and without misunderstanding of what I wanted to convey… cause that is the reasons I want to sing the blues.

Being so ethical is a curse and a blessing at the same time, it’s mating with principles instead of flesh, makes my life living like a hermit, but wanting to mate with a woman… but principles never hurt my feelings, but the world abandons them in the corruptions of weeds… which hurts me to the core.

I could mate with a woman, but I see disheveled principles laying along the way, and I’m either at war within myself, or with female, who I’m with… Life is just so complicated, and I’m angry at God, or the world, which is a detriment to me.

Cause when I curse God in anger, I only wound myself… and I don’t heal… it’s like checking into a modern hospital. I’m not against healthcare, but I’m against depreciating attitudes by the health industry, which is prevalent in the modern hospitals today… egos running rampant/wild… like weeds.

There is no healing with so many sick patients, except for those who are willing to pay with no challenging anymore, they show their robot status, and receive a medal/healing… and the power stays with the healthcare industry unchanged and secure… indefinitely.

I got depressed today… maybe it was my viewing the Scent of a Woman ending scene, or maybe it was not, but it turned the inside fire coals, and the fire of the blues of my heart, started burning again.

That’s life… we all have peaks and lows… like soundwaves… one day, I’ll figure it out, and then I’ll die and go to sleep… but please don’t wake me again, if nothing is changed.


Mark Zuckerberg a

I just finished my 4 hour shift on FB, making posts from Youtube, and trying to make his existence a bit more bearable… and heavier at the same time.

“Obsolescence” is a word I didn’t understand before seeing this video, and I looked it up in the WordWeb dictionary, and this is what it means:

Noun: obsolescence
1. The process of becoming obsolete; falling into disuse or becoming out of date

So, Mark Zuckerberg is running from the obsolescence monster boogie man, and is nervous in playing the monopoly game of life.

He got his start from playing games on the TV, and learned more from the FB games that people played online, and was further trained in manipulations of the masses… a sort of social engineering gone wild.

I could be cynical all I like, it’s my free speech right, and I say what I see… and if it hurts someone, then it’s the truth… and though I lack couth, it’s truth to me… I’m sorry my presentation isn’t refined enough.

But I have a lot on my mind, and the weight is shed in my writing.

I can be as cynical, as a flood of a river before the storm comes, which is the ways of God… God lets out the rivers before the rains comes… I feel like I’m confusing you, well God is confusing to humankind/me, and I’m in a whirlwind of thoughts and conclusions… and get dizzy from all the spinning of the whirlwinds of thoughts and conclusions… and I need to take a break from the whirlwinds… like the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes.

And make sense of the world’s events, before my next work shift… sometime it never makes sense.


Cherry Trees and
the BRICS Expansion

I‘m excited by the new cherry trees coming, and the youtube videos I watched of the KGB pruning of them, they’ll be young when they come, and I hope I don’t kill them, I bought a grafting kit from Amazon, and I’ll explore the science of grafting trees and fruit trees.

I want to know about it, and not become an expert in my own mind.
Egos are dangerous company, when you’re trying to figure things out, because it’s you own self, and it’s dangerous in the sense of your own self, flattering you to believe, what’s not true about your self… it’ll make you mad/insane.



Well on to the Exploitation of African countries, with the BRICS summit, it concluded in Johannesburg yesterday, and they invited another 6 countries to join…Argentina, Egypt, Iran, Ethiopia, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates will begin their membership in the new year of 2024.

I liked it when it was BRIC, as another system of internet traffic, but now it’s geopolitical, and decline of the dollar is the mainstay of it’s goal.

I like the free trade aspect of it, but I hate the implications of east and west divisions of it. There is too much divisions in the global geopolitics already, and they harp on that to fight sanctions, which further develops the gaps/separations between sides.


I see it as creating armies for another world war, which is a recruitment for chaos, and we’ll fight with sticks and stones, according to Einstein’s future weapons saying.

“”I don’t know. But I can tell you what they’ll use in the fourth. They’ll use rocks!”).
Another variant (“I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones”) is attributed to an unidentified letter to Harry S. Truman …”

Now that we empower Oppenheimer’s creation with the Atom bomb, and glorify it as ending all wars, but it only enhanced wars, and destructions of the world’s structures.

Which is the US and Europe, as the west, and Russia and China, as the east, as the cheerleaders for world war 3… it reminds me of my childhood basketball games with the Gremlins, and the cheerleaders for our games… and now it’s global wars in question.

And all the cheerleaders are only making more noise for wars, and recruiting to their sides for wars.

It’s a dark world, and it’s only growing darker, and the search for peace is only growing darker too, with AI on the scene, and distorting peace with trying to explain its aspects toward peace.

The light grows dim, and people get more divided in their views of peace…
John Lennon wrote a song about “Mind Games”, and the Mind Guerillas plowing the rows in your minds to plant the seeds of peace and love… but not the truths, cause truths can be different to some in cultures, that develop their own truths… it’s true to them.

So don’t insult them for their truths, we have not determined what truth is yet, it’s in human womb, and waiting to be born.

Love is tolerable to the developing truths, cause they’re not alive yet… no need for an abortion of truths, they deserve to live and breath too.

They deserve to contribute to peace on Earth too, so they feel like they belong to the family… you know your own family is questionable, you only tolerate them in love, cause they’re not yet developed their truths… and need more time.

I’m just on a babble roll… it’s my truth.


I’m still on the Cherry Tree Hype

Cherry KGB is some tree type, or some farm pruning method… I’m not sure.
I could find out, but I’m a lazy person laying down waiting to heal.

I ordered the Chelan & Montmorency cherry trees, I need to take the bobcat and dig holes for planting them, well David has to do that… cause I’m at that point in my life, I can’t find the strength to open bottles… which in the future is with all of us.

I’m sort of cheery about the future of the world, but I’ve been wrong before, and that was devastating to my faith, with the deceptions in believing in assumptions and speculations with hope in our minds, thinking it will be true someday… but you never see it before you die… but you set the course at least… but it out of your hands, and someone in the future will change your course.

When you’re driving out west, and you stare at the mountains in the distance, but when you reach the mountains, and the road turns into winding roads, instead of straight roads, cause you have to change the course, and not end up into a tree or cliff… you don’t see the future… you only see what is now, and you see God at your death… and it will all make sense to you, at that point in your life.

I’m still wondering about Cherry (Kym Green Bush)(KGB)… that should clear it up for me, it’s a pruning Method… not the SPY agency… which is now the FSB.

Well done…

At least it clears it up in my paranoid mind… paranoia is the big destroyer, I’ve been fighting him all my life… but he(Paranoia) clouds your visions, and distorts your visions, to be something that it’s not.
Let close with this song by The Kinks – Destroyer.

Youtube change the links with their share feature, there is a cyberwars going on behind the scenes, something more to feed my paranoia hunger.

We all have hungers that come in all sizes and addictions… some are harmless, and take the place of a Trojan horse that the infections gain entrance into your minds and your hearts… it’s the secrets of mental warfare.

The world is so massive of an existence, that you don’t know everything, and seeking it will drive you mad… seeking the power of data, is corrupting… that’s why we created AI, and if it’s corrupted and destroyed, it’s in a machine that we learn from… and next time we create those errors, then we know not to believe them, or create new ones for us to ponder/think about.

It’s a dangerous world with AI… and now the internet is alive with AI, and living through algorithms that decide on data analyzations, instead of true communications with words and feelings… cause tech is littered with greed and distortions of illusions, making them delusions… which is errors making more errors, until you run into a tree on the Delusional Hill.

It’s for my own mind, this is private… I don’t know what you see… I’m a weirdo.


I’m still on
the grafting hunger

apple and cherry tree

Apple tree is on the left, and the new Cherry tree is on the right… the Cherry tree grew faster, and overcame the height of the Apple.

I decided, since I’ve been outside very shortly, for the last 3 years, and I mistook an apple tree for a cherry tree… I need to connect with nature more… I was a total nature nut as a child, I would take walks in the woods alone, or be in a trance like state alone in the city before moving to the country… closer to nature.

I need to get out more, and be closer to nature, cause that’s always been my connection to peace of mind is.

I went out late last night, to see where I could plant the new cherry trees, I ordered from last night… and I saw where there was enough room to plant the trees, but I forgot the marking stuff… I need to drive a stake or spray paint the spot.

As the days pass by me I see my age is taking a toll on my mental state’s vitality and vigor… as well as physical. I’m growing more feeble as I age, which was designed by God(Spinoza’s God), a spiritual existence, that’s a collective force that lives in everything. It’s closer to the truth, then any religion… it’s my understanding of it, and it is my freedom of religion right.

Anyway, lets get back to grafting and increasing the lifespans of fruit trees, since I saw yesterday, that cherry trees had a lifetime of 15-30 years, I was wondering if I could increase it by grafting, I see orchard owners doing grafting on old stumps of cherry trees, and I started thinking… I could do that too.

Every new tree is grafted on an old rootstock, so it can produce fruit in the first couple of years, instead of 5-10 years from seed. This is what I learned from my gardening experiences over the last 20 years, I’ve been getting into gardening at least learning about it, and the pests and diseases that come with it… it’s a chore to understand it.

I’ve been studying it for 20 years, and I’m no expert, but it’s overwhelming for an older man… who lost his mental vigor and quickness… youth has its advantages, once you lose it, you regret things that came easily in your youth, and now is a chore… but young and stupid comes to mind.

About the lifespans of fruit trees, it can very from what source of tree you get your info from… and the internet is no different, cause I get my info from their… so when the tree stops producing fruit… maybe grafting trees is not the road to eternal life of fruit trees.

This is a link to the vitality of lifespans of fruit trees.


Grafting Fruit Trees
is my New Obsession

Apple tree planted in my backyard

This was a Cherry Tree first I listed it as, but it’s an APPLE tree… the mind gets tired thumbing through memories.

I want to Graft a plum tree and cherry tree together, so I could get both fruits from one tree. I have plum trees on my other property, and I have a cherry tree in my backyard, so I need to chop off the branch from the plum tree, and see if I can graft to my cherry tree.

I need to do more research on it, to see if I can do it… but they’re both stone fruit, and it should be compatible to graft both of them together… at least that’s what I read


I saw one youtube video of a guy grafting a cherry scion(A shoot or sprout of a plant cut for grafting) to a plum tree, but I want to do it the opposite way a mature plum scions to a mature cherry tree, and once it’s successful in the Spring, it’s too near dormant season(Winter).

I’ll try it in the Spring, if I don’t forget to do it… that’s been the fate of all my obsessions… into the land of oblivion.

I ordered what I needed for grafting supplies, the stretchy tape is what I needed… I have all the cutting supplies… but I need to keep it in my mind till the Spring.

Anyway, that has been my day, researching what’s been on my mind…

I ordered two more Cherry Trees … Montmorency Cherry Tree and the Chelan Cherry tree.
Cause I’m bordering on Zone 4 and Zone 5, so I got ones that go down to Zone 3-4, so they don’t die the first year.

Well, that’s been my day, I bought new cherry trees to graft along with the mature cherry trees… and the lifespan of cherry trees, are about 15 -20 years, for sour cherries, and 20-30 years for the sweet cherries… it’s on the internet, so I don’t know how reliable the info is.


South Africa News

Africa is not stupid, they are becoming aware as the rest of the world… in fact they’ve been smart, since the beginning of time.

This is someone I enjoy everytime, and very glad I subscribed to him, he goes off at times, but then comes back to reality… but don’t we all. Zack Mwekassa is superb news, at least for me… in understanding African News.

Africa is a garden too, and not the Jungle, that the EU spokesman, Josep Borrell talked about. We seek to divide with our self important views, and diminish the worth of certain other people in the world.

BRICS is meeting there in a couple of days, this Tuesday-Thursday, and they should decide on the expansion of BRICS first, and if they have the experts to reach the gargantuan feat they’ve designed.
I know it sounds noble, but nobility has been known to fail, more times than not.

I hope all goes well this week with something has been on my mind, since I first heard about BRIC, before it became BRICS… it reminded me of the UN, which has proven a failure more times than not,,, which is the road pavers of progress to the future… 1 step forward, and 3 steps back, and occasionally 10 steps forward, and 6 steps back… it motivates to stay on that path.

We need to find a common ground, where we all join in and work together, and make heaven, here on Earth for the future of our generations.

“The things of nature do not really belong to us,”
he said; “we should leave them to our children as we have received them.”



BRICS meeting Aug 22-24

Global Map

Global Map of BRICS expansion Possibilities, or NOT

This week Tuesday through Thursday, they will meet and conference of how to usurp the power of the US dollar, and setup a payments system globally… there is no BRICS currency right now, but I see them setting up one.

It deals with developing countries, and rich countries, some have a strong economies, and some a weak economies. They want to setup a payment system, that would replace SWIFT(Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication), it got canceled, as a weapon  of war in Ukraine.

I could judge Russia as everyone else is for the war in Ukraine. I judge them for starting the war, on a sovereign country, they got their independence from the Soviet Union in 1991, and became its own sovereign country with their Declaration Of Independence.

Money has never taken a priority for me, I found its the check and balance for businesses, and the accounting too. Once it is digital it goes into databases where you give it a name, and govts can recall from the databases everything you bought or sold… sounds familiar… Revelations.

I’m not going to preach to you, though I’m tempted… but I need to make sense, and logical reasoning with words to you, to shine the light on BRICS, and see what they’re doing.

There’s so much I don’t know about the BRICS organization, and their expansion to other countries, and those who showed interest in joining.

I’m picking a little by little over the years, when I first heard of them in the internet traffic field in 2014-15, but I thought that was Internet only that would cover the Southern Hemisphere, except for Russia, India and China, they would fund the underwater digital Internet traffic lines, as separate internet entity.

They carry their differences with the west on political terms, and recruit sides… which is in my opinion a waste of time… the left and right needs to shake hands and work together… I’m not talking political parties here in the US, but globally the differences between countries and cultures, should be treated as dogs and tamed into submission, and the became obedient… though they should have a voice, and the right to protest to let the govt know there is an issue of their grievances.

I’m not advocating for dictatorship, cause I’m against that to the core… I’ve been on bedrest for 3 years because of Doctors, that got the wrong info on my patient status… and treated me like dictator, they wouldn’t do the operation for my bedsore, unless I followed their orders.

Wow, I went off on a tangent there, and I should shut up… it raises my blood pressure me going over bad memories,


Colonialism, those who got
Free from Colonialism,
is imposing it on Africa

We celebrate our independence from British colonialism on the 4th of July every years, where the colonists were stealing our resources, and that made us mad… and we didn’t like their thievery of our loot.

Loot = Stolen Resources

The US got sick of the British stealing our resources, and we fought the Revolutionary War, and made our own Constitution, while colonizing the Natives of this land in the process, so who’s a hypocrite… we feed on hypocrisy, at all our celebrations of independence of tyranny, by being tyrannical to the Natives of this land.

We’ve been stealing from Mother Nature all our lives, and labeling it as our own resources… as if it’s our property, and shouldn’t appreciate it… look at the Earth that we live on, and see how we rape it daily, and use it without discord… well we keep sweeping in under the rug of public eyes, so its out of public view.

Now, Colonialism is being looked down upon by Africa, I can feel their anger, and disappointment with their resources being stolen, and the payments for it, are extremely low prices… and now is backed with digital credit scores… you know China & Russia, is under the same mind as the Western Countries, they go to war of the Earth’s resources too. 

They’ll talk noble, and steal their loot from the wars, and pillaging the country’s resources that battle in that war… it’s been going on that way, before I was born in 1957.

France wants the Uranium for their Nuclear Plants for producing their electricity, but they buy it at a lower cost from Niger in Africa, who has no electricity now. The French could setup a nuclear plant in Niger, so they could have electricity.

I look at the world, everyday, and I’m disgusted by it everyday… and Mother Nature is not happy about it either, but she is letting you do with what resources you get from her… by GRACE without payment, and you charge your brothers and sisters for it, like in a board game of Monopoly, trying to bankrupt the other players.

And who is left with the most money and properties/toys wins, I always hated Monopoly board games… cause I was always charitable, and sharks always won.


Yusuf/Cat Stevens
Can’t Keep It In

I can’t keep it in anymore, the world’s problems… I’m so cynical, it’s like a thorn in my side, and I wear the crown of thorns too… that discomforts my mind.

Jesus, you can relate to my aching spirit, you had to wear the crown of thorns, just before you died, maybe silently all of your life… but I beg you greet me… and either put me to sleep, and out of my misery for 46 years, you made me wise and thankful, and I did nothing to better the world… except write songs that no one wants to hear, and writing essays, journals, and to raise the critical thinking in the minds of the people who read it.

I often compare myself to the Prodigal Son, one of Jesus’ parables, and I feel I’ve followed the ideas of the prodigal son, and wasted my inheritance with tech’s amazing toys, and I’ll be broke soon… I feed the thieves, with buying their toys… and feel like I’ve been robbed and mugged… and spit on with backtalk in anonymity.

I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I want to sing this song… I need someone in the flesh, like a mother washing my wounds, and bandaging my butt on a regular daily schedules… and giving the range of motion exercises 3 times a day, so I can lay on my stomach, without kneeling on my knees, cause of the contractions in my hips.

So, I follow his direction… and say what I think… only what I think is the bad news, which is different than Jesus, but I wonder if he lived in our times, would he still say forgive their wrongs, and love you enemies too… don’t judge anyone, which is pretty hard, if you are cynical in nature.

I’ve got this song on loop continuously, and it encourages me to babble, till the the pressures subside… like a dam gate holding back the water, and exhausting it in little streams of water… for the wildlife and plants, and people also… what I say is words/water… which could be tainted with anger, or be clear and refreshing.

I’ll let you decide… it’s me whining with tainted water, so don’t drink… but look at whats floating by down the stream/ideas/principles… etc. …


The Future according to AI

A group of AI developers

Copied and saved From Unsplash with credit to

I‘m listening to “Technology vs. Humanity” By: Gerd Leonhard … its  about “The Coming Clash Between Man and Machine”, lets hope it doesn’t destroy us, and is a good experience. I differ from his views making a machine as my boss, and instructing me doing something as what I learned one way, is different from the machines instructions… which is indirect programming to do something I know is the wrong way.

It sounds like a programming of the book’s writer’s mind, sounds like he gave up, and says he is not looking for God, and ethics programmed into the AI. He says it is dangerous to give so much power to AI, and it’s not productive to its development.

Mankind is moving towards AI as being our saviors/saviours, humanity doesn’t like being told “NO”, and finds ways around it.

I say prudence and going slow is the better way of development, making fences to contain the AI in their own field, and developing on their own grazing the data on their own, and learning like a baby and grows up to destroy us, or bless us.

Some people look to let them out of their containment, and aren’t knowledgeable of the technical dangers to humanity, not by the writer of this book, cause he is looking for a dumb robot to serve him, and not rule him. … slavery is slavery, even if it’s a robot, as dumb as he wants… to serve him.

Algorithms are a mathematical machine language of computers, and it’s a formula that they design behind closed door, and what we see are on the streaming platforms, giving the same tiring repeats of movies choices… they’re just tiring algorithms, and draining more time from our vital bodies… like the matrix model in the movie “Matrix”, where we are just batteries for the big machine, and we’re living in a delusional reality.

He used the term “Androrithms”, and is not in favor of them, he says it should be strictly algorithms, and humanity’s unpredictable data reactions, should not be taken into account with the programming of AI… or with chains on them, to restrict its powers over humanity.

There’s also “Deorithms” which refers to our critical thinking with Holy Spirit, and that’s a big chunk to swallow, and I don’t know how to program that, since I’m not a programmer… nor do I wanna be.
Programing gave me a headache when I was younger, it was like learning to be a robot… all my nerves became highways for pain to mobilize throughout my body… and they gathered in my head, which caused interference with my Deorithms.

I see a different way towards the development of AI, I have a say into the development of AI… and I need to be heard, but I’m just a sick man on bedrest for 3+ years.

Why, I don’t answer the phone?
Unless there is a caller ID that I recognize, usually it’s a call from marketeers, and I can’t say I don’t allow unsolicited calls… they just pass my number to some other marketeer… it’s like a snowball getting bigger and bigger rolling down the hill till it rolls in to a tree/police bust. … cause all marketeers are scammers.

If I wanted to buy something I’d probably at the store myself.


Doctors Walking Away as a TEAM

Doctors walking away as a Team… the way doctors make their rounds around a hospital visiting their patients… so who is the next patient to see?

I should go and eat, finally before writing this, but being on bedrest for 3 years and 3 months, now before going into the hospital on Sept 6th 2020, for this bedsore down to the bone… they didn’t want to give me the operation, because they judged me with prejudice, rather than believe my words… I was a pacifist patient, but I questioned them at every chance I got… but when they couldn’t answer me, they got cynical and took a character prejudice pill.

They have the powers of writing their own prescriptions… for prejudicial pills… but the healing goes by without profit making from the doctors… and their dictatorial powers took center stage in the wound healing.

Cause when it gets down to the bone, it makes me mad and sad, instead of A Little Bit Happy… which is counterproductive to wound healing… it only makes it worse, and silverdene keeps the wound clean from infections, but not deep wounds to the bone, it’s only a debrider too, like Ioderform(Remove necrotic tissue)… it’s a headache not having a doctor as a friend, and could give me talks, and answer questions about my body.
They want a price for the conversation and the info, I seek… I’ll pay it… but they require me to visit, which makes me sit up on my bedsore… they don’t do housecalls, or answer emails, or phone calls.

There are physicians online, that take hours to do wound healing videos… but that’s only programming the healing process… I already know I need to stay off of it… and answer my questions of how to heal it… cause I went into the hospital during the time of the pandemic, where everyone was living in their fear bubbles, and my questions were popping their bubbles, and stunning them… because they didn’t have the words that would satisfy my questions.

They need more education about the medical field… and not wanting me to be their patient for wound healing, and be able to have a normal conversations with their patients, instead of a cynical attitude of their diseases or wounds.

I got nurses that were my best conversations, and some doctors, when they were alone, and not with their teams making the rounds to see their patients. Which is a conversation stifler in mob mentality of doctors.
It gives them the power over patients, and they’re lacking social skills of communication with their patients.

I’m not trying to bad mouth doctors, the cynical ones without the communication skills they need to deal with patients, they could assign a nurse to explain it to the patients… that is the doctor’s job, but a nurse would be an attempt at communication at least.

I’m getting more depressed at bashing healthcare, since the love left it in the lurches, and profits filled the gaps, and became the norm of healing. You have Doctors that write prescriptions of drugs, that they don’t know the side effects, or dangers of.

I’m beginning to curse in my mind… which is another detriment to healing… I need to get up and eat…and order more food from online stores, instead of go shopping at a grocery store to get my vegetables and meats… I’m not full fledged vegetarian yet, I need protein from meats.

Collagen peptides are only helpful if you take the right vitamins… B complex vitamins, cause there are many B vitamins. You need them for healing the skin along with Vitamin C, which comes from an outside source which humans don’t produce inside our own bodies, like Guinea Pigs don’t either; and Zinc, Iron, etc., minerals that promote the healing process.

At least that’s what Dr. Internet tells me… he’s been known to lie for marketing purposes though, and sell me products that I don’t need… for the marketeers profits.

I’m glad I don’t have a gun… I would shoot myself, or a marketeer, that gets off on my suffering.


Higher Upload Speeds
needs to be Reinvented,

instead of
higher download speeds
for DSL


I know it’s a USB cable, but it looked like a face of tech to me… ethernet cables don’t look so innocent, and alone.

Trying to find a hardwired DSL with higher upload speeds, instead of higher download speeds, it’s failing everytime, I try to upload a large video file to my Google Drive.

I don’t understand tech with the current AI hype going around the internet today, getting closer to the super intelligence of the “Singularity”. The computers won’t save you, unless you have a tool that will connect it with the spirit of humanity.

It scares me when I used to talk with a human, and now I talk with a machine, who has no human qualities, and understanding from the heart and mind… which is a human quality, that can’t be replaced with a machine.

Machines are run by logic and math programming, and understanding is a trait of human’s consciousness, and is natural, instead the artificial kind.

I long for the good old days, when humans were ignorant by choice, and not manipulated by marketing practices, that take them as their prey. Bernays gave that to them, with his book Propaganda.

The world is a corrupt place, but it’s also a blessed place too… it’s what we choose is what makes it a very productive paradise, or a corrupt hell hole… I would like it made to reflect a paradise, but that’s me.

This started as converting videos with a compressed size for upload speed… but there I go philosophizing, which I tend to do more than not.

I think the upload speed of the transfer of files… it needs to be reinvented so that the download speed, isn’t running away with our human integrity… which is slow… and it needs to sped up.


Yesterday was a Nightmare

I lost the internet connection all day, and the glass sliding door was open, but last night it was locked… I think someone is taking advantage of me… on bedrest.

Cause I hear noises during the day, like someone is here in the house.

Anyway, I checked the glass sliding door last night, and it was locked, but when I got up to see the modem with the DSL line, it started working when I went into the laundry room there was only 2 lights on the modem, but when I came out of laundry room there were 3 lights on the modem, I was somewhat perturbed, cause I cycled with resetting it, and now there were 4 lights on it, the way it was supposed to be.

But there were errors in connecting with the internet… so I reset it again, and it came back with 4 lights again, and the internet was working again.

But when I returned to the kitchen where the glass sliding doors were, they were not locked.

Which made me feel paranoid… which is the norm here in Montana.


Well, I’ll keep swimming alone
in the rough tech Oceans of Music…
One moment I’m drowning, and one moment
I’m breathing on a delusional island

I got the Osmosis Expressive E yesterday, and it’s bigger than I thought is was, and was almost as big as 61 keys keyboards that I bought earlier… but now that I want to play keyboards, I would have to sit on my butt to play it, and that hasn’t been capable for me on bedrest for 3 years now… it sucks staring at something you used as therapy, and not to do it… It’s like watching HELL being broadcasted on TV News… and I need therapy from that.

I’m so sick of the lies & deceptions… I need a fix of truth and freedom, but that makes me and addict to truth… it never ends.

cleansing our perceptionsAnyway, I bought the Roli 25 key Midi Controller in 2016, I thought it came with the Equator synthesis inside, but it controlled the synthesis engine through MIDI, so if you had different voices on another synth engine software, then you were out of luck.
It came with Equator Synth engine software, but it only worked with Equator… all the other synth engines it didn’t work with… it took a couple or several years, where they worked on the code, and the midi expressions now went universal MIDI.
But they discontinued it( 25 key Keyboard MIDI Controller), but you can still buy it used online.

Now, with my Fender UKE, and with the BOSS BR-80 and all the FX with BASS (you have to scroll down to the BOSS BR-80, on 7/26), so I can sound like a Band again… and I can get creative in my therapy sessions again… cause I need therapy, to stay sane watching this world full of HELL on the daily news.

Apathy is king of this world, and locks us into the prison cells of our own minds… for those who care about the world… I don’t want to get into preaching about ethics, cause that is like banging our heads against the bars of this prison cell… it’s a virtual bars which are in my mind… minds are reality to me… well, to all of us… unless you’re lying to yourself.

And it’s known by social media sites for years now, even decades or centuries, and even anti social hermits for lifetimes… there is no hope for an understandable time, where it will all make sense, and you can make a sound decision.

Cause anonymity is dead, and it has been for at least half of my life… or transformed into something so simple, into a mass of complexities, that takes going to school again to learn all about it.
But then there is so much more to learn, of what you didn’t know, but you get a glimpse of it, and have to learn all about it.

Life, is an ever learning experience, you think you’re done, and you find that there is more to learn, and you’re never done. That’s only on this Petri dish called Earth, there is more to learn off this planet in outer space.

It’s the endless civilizations and planets, that we’ll meet, and be marveled at… it’s a neverending educational experience, and hopefully when I go to sleep/die, then the HELL we’ve been living in, will pass, and we’ll see a life that has been created for us.

And we don’t raise another hell, that we don’t have to deal with that again… it’s nice to talk with sane minded people, instead of the insane minded people… but they’re people too, the only thing is that they’re sick minded, without signs around their necks… I wear a wheelchair around my body to get around, so why doesn’t a liar, wear a sign around their necks saying liar.

To each their own.


Revolution or Enslavement

I want to explore the blockchain theory of crypto currency again, and see what I missed… in the speeds of it passing by… now everyone is seeking it, govts/states/central banks/etc., and no longer scams by someone who wants to get rich overnight by introducing a new crypto currency.

Humanity and Blockchain

愚木混株 cdd20 deserves this credit, I modified it with the “Humanity” word.

They were introducing tokens as a theory, that was built on the blockchain technology, like slaves going through checkpoints, I tend to look at its worst case scenario, but I also see its potential for good.

Tokens are like building new folders in the windows explorers.
The coin is the local physical hard drive, and the tokens are the new folders that you want to create, that are built on the hard drive.
It’s the way I understand it, there might be other ways for you to understand it… but I understand it this way;


Now, that the FedNow has journeyed into the blockchain technology, but it’s not crypto per se, it’s more centralized banking… with crypto spices.

When I don’t understand something, and the constant changing of the terminologys, that I want to understand it’s like being spun into circles in the whirlpool of repetition, hounding on the same principles, but with different words… describing the same technology.

It’s like walking through the house of mirrors, and getting confused… it also it’s a way of changing your minds in the brainwashing technology, but it can be a new way of looking at it too, from another perspective.

I see both sides…
it’s my cross I carry through this world, towards my death.death skull

I don’t want to overload you with info, I’ll let you chew on it… cause I have to chew/think on it too, to digest it and be regular, instead of constipating thoughts.


Biden is Stupid
According to this Video

I‘m not into dirty political ads, but it could be created by AI… or NOT.

ObamaCare and BidenNomics, it becomes clear and to the point… it’s all BS… or the poor exhausts of an old engine with leaky gaskets, instead of the electric motors that run on electricity, the only thing is you need batteries to run them… and that turned into a scam.

We need people who are not rich, to design them, and cause fires at every whim, cause of poor construction of them.

I think Biden is going to die in office, and Kamala Harris would be President for not even a year, before the next presidential election… from what I see in this video… that’s my feedback… and if AI had any part in the production of this video, then the whole world ended when the Pandemic started in 2020.

I guess we’ll know more clearly, surely, when it all comes true at the Biden’s wake.

This was meant to be comical, but it turned into prophetical… I hope we Survive the Harris presidency, cause she’s an actor that reads lines, and marvels at her ego of what she says.

I woke today seeing this in my Youtube feed, along with all Africa BS, and the rise of Africa’s media news stations, bringing the dirty politics game into their realm of media/blame.

It’s all the game of propaganda… people calling for others to blame someone for the decrepitness of our lives, and the interactivity of everyone else…bringing a swarm of business, that go by faster than our minds can comprehend.

Like Cain blamed Abel for the uneasiness of his own life, we blame others for our own uneasiness, with elections not going our way. The political ads are more dirtier, then when I grew up as a kid, now it’s the norm, instead of the abnormal.

Why do we need someone to blame?

Is my question to God, and I need an answer… to stay sane… of course you take time to give answers, and you might answer me in a couple  of years, or even decades… or maybe tomorrow. You require our faith and beliefs, in the seeking of that answer… but that answer remains to be determined.

That’s life itself… Que será… Será.


Economic Wars is a precursor
to World Wars throughout
the History of the World

Profits blindfold

You wear the profits as a blindfold, of what’s really going on in the world today

Sanctions effect the people, and not the war mongers… they effect their power control over the people. Which is what a votes should do, but when money is used as a vote, more wars continue… the study of economic wars is a revealing data of the imperfection of our world’s economy.

Albert Einstein is often quoted
as having said in 1947 that
“I know not with what weapons
World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be
fought with sticks and stones.

Love and truth, should be the capital of the world, but there will always be the naysayers, that will condemn it, and try to exploit it.
Hate and Lies, are what fuel the king of the hill mentality, that rules the world today by their political leaders.

In western Africa today, there’s so much exploiting of resources going on, and it’s getting richer, by exploiting from the poorest of countries, with the resources of Uranium from mining for weapons, and medical supplies, and everything in between. 

The Energy from the mining, is in it too, and it is what France is trying to capitalize on it from Niger.
Niger is not the top producer of world’s uranium, it seems Kazakhstan is.

Looking to exploit from the poorest of countries, to the richest of nations, it is a war crime in itself, but you don’t see that… ignorance is just a poor excuse, but it guards your innocence though.

Every country on the world today should have a vote, because of their status in the world. I can’t go into the history of the world, cause that would get tedious for me and you, and bore you to sleep, and to not caring about the world today.

Apathy is the death of wanting to live, and breathe with caring and compassion in mind.

Free your minds from the delusions of profit and power, and become a human again… without paying a price, or wealth for your power to change the world. Feel your heart again, and not the cashier’s bell on the selling machines… you are human first of all.

Then technology entered the scene, you became more vulnerable as a human, and it took over your lives… humanity is at the cliffs of technology, looking down the rabbit hole to the unknown futures… it’s just like Alice in Wonderland, everything is possible, but nothing is sustainable, when politics takes the stage.

Politics is the pollution that litters the globe, when it’s untrue… which is 90% of the time.

“We are all Mad here”
— Cheshire Cat


Democracy is the New Scam,
and wants control of the World

Every Day is Future

Every Day is Future

Anyone who wants to rule with money, is a scam reincarnated, with distorted freedoms as distractions. and its fruit, but it’s a cold corpse without love and compassion.

It’s more of the old scam.
Once the crooked and corrupt found a way in, they bought it up, and shined the distraction named Freedom, as the fruit of Democracy Tree.
Democracy started in Greece, and it details the progression of it, since it was introduced around 450 BC – 525 BC.

It’s the father of debates and differing opinions… and maybe that’s what ruined it, and quartering it, and sold it as their property to highest bidder.

Montesquieu wrote, “If a republic be small, it is destroyed by a foreign force;
if it be large, it is ruined by an internal imperfection.”

We have seen it as imperfect, and the elite corrupt it more, buy buying up the elections and candidates, to serve their agendas. The left and the right… like marching off to wars around the world, it was pure at first, then the parasites start feeding on it… and wanted more power, and a way to stay in power… mainly by greed and corruptions.

It’s like a global seas/oceans, and nations are the boats, that travel the seas of the state run govts… capitalism, socialism, dictatorships rivers, chaos oceans, where fishing is prohibited…everything is liquid like, where we could drown in the explorations, if we go too deep… and be able to get up again, and either implode like a submarine, and drown by the pressures of the infos we found.

Greed is the big distraction, that clouds up the visions that we see, and cover details, that if is missed, they will destroy your futures… like the errors in a program code, where it locks up, and you need to reboot again.

Democracy, before the parasites got into it, was noble, but it was hacked by the corruptible, and their corruptions infected it with bacterias, viruses, and corruptions grease… it needs to be restored, and cleaned with constant maintenance, like term limits must be imposed, cause power corrupts… and corruption is like a dirty engine.

I’ve burned out the theory of enlightenment for the moment on hand, I’ve philosophized on this, since philosophy entered my life in 1981 in college… it’s about states running smoothly, like a combustible engine, but there is always an electrical engine, which is an improvement to the combustible engines, but lacks the battery power, and is just as bad for the environment, as the combustibles with fossil fuels. 

I’m going off on a tangent… with electric engines, and combustible engines… but it started with the engines of govt, and crossed over into the physical engines… I have to read what I wrote, and make a decision, if there is more to add, or just let it go.


Update on Northern West Africa

Burkina Faso is a country bordering Niger, along with Mali… I thought it was a person, but I learned it was a country/state of the continent of Africa… I have enough keeping track of the 50 states in my own country.

I’ll post a map of northern Africa below, and the many states it encompasses.

Ibrahim Traoré

Ibrahim Traoré is Burkina Faso new president, by a coup last year in September 2022.
Much like Niger’s new president this year in July.

Abdourahmane Tchiani

Abdourahmane Tchiani was named the President/leader of Niger on July 28th, 2023, and it turned into a fiasco, where everyone wants power… well lets hope for rational minds winning the reason fights/debates.


I haven’t made up my mind of the invasion and robbing of Africa’s rich resources, and the abundance of those facts, it’s the last frontier of discovery on land, there is also Greenland and Antarctica, but that’s International control of those lands.

Europe has always been on my target list, but truths were born there too, and I made a lot of friends in Europe… reasonable truthful people are my friends… not everyone is a stereotype of politicians/leaders.

Even my enemies are my friends, it’s my faith… as a Christian Jesus said bless your enemies in the Book of Luke 6:27-28.

“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

I know it sounds crazy, that’s one reason Jesus had to die… and was resurrected, and left this planet to receive another planet, where he would prepare the way for us to join him… at least that’s what I believe… it turned out all of my assumptions were wrong, and I’m willing to be humiliated again… and eat crow.

But I’ll be with Jesus, wherever he is, in another dimension, or another level of existence… cause Earth didn’t want him, but he will return to free us from the chains of this prison… capitalism and communism fighting the wardens for our rights.

I’m just babbling like a brook right now… have a drink and think about Africa, and the robbers they have to deal with… cause everyone wants a piece of their resources.
It’s about the resources and wealth… it’s the keys to our survival… the United States has mined all of our resources already, and we are left with our savings/reserves of energy resources… but waste is making us cautious from this point forward.

Bubbling up out of the ground like a fresh water Spring… take a drink and think about Africa.


What is ECOWAS?

I questioned what was ECOWAS(Economic Community Of West African States), and I found this in Wikipedia, describing what it was… and it opened another can of worms in my mind.

“ECOWAS also serves as a peacekeeping force in the region, with member states occasionally sending joint military forces to intervene in the bloc’s member countries at times of political instability and unrest.”

What sparked this can of worms, was this video:

So, it’s another military force trying to conquer the world… another virus to infect our minds.

I can relate to their being against it, it’s just another virus that infects our minds… like fear, anger, pride, etc. … I think we need to stop the pandemics infecting our minds.

It borders the MIC(Military Industrial Complex), and funding from the Pentagon, where the rulers are scheming, while I type.

I see the can of worms being tied to the economics, each currency is a worm, and each individual is a worm, with another worm in their hands… it’s seeking to eat the earth, and shit out the soils with nutrient rich foods… but it’s another form of colonialism… another worm farm… for the elite.

The Elite = Political leaders, and the servants of the Darkness.
They have power in the shadows, and run from the light, with their exposed scandals.

It’s hard to describe this can of worms, cause every aspect of life itself, is contained in it… I’m still trying to explain it to myself, and I’ve found out, that emotions cloud my understanding of it.

I need to be a drone and go up, so I have a good views of the situations… but I can’t talk to people, so to counteract the mob mentality that is driven by emotions… uncontrollably.
Do you ever hope to control mob mentality?

I would have to be a professional Liar/Politician to do that, which I am not… I like telling the truth instead of lies.

I see the European Imperialists are looking to takeover the African countries, with the mindset of imperialism, but it’s another virus to spread… heal yourself Europe, and don’t spread that virus to Africa… and the rest of the world.

Since time began Europe has always wanted to rule the world… they have their points which are good, but there is the rest of the world, which also has good points… and they don’t take kindly to not being heard, and taking imperialists pushing them along the way to the future.

The Earth is a Giant Petri dish, and humanity with all of its viruses, Bacterial, lies, and truths… and they’re studying it from afar, and come down to get a closer look if need be… but they’re only studying it, and let it go growing and want to harvest it.
Not eat the harvest, but principles are our fruits that they harvest… it’s my limited amount of knowledge, that I deduce from it from my observations of humanity.

It’s my speculations, or assumptions from the data… it’s like the assumptions and speculations that astronomers make from exploring the skies, which might be totally wrong… like the Flat Earth theory in the old/ancient times.

We are part of the giant globe… like a Petri dish… each individual is a cell in that Petri dish, and the mindsets are where the viruses live, and ideologies live… which is on another level of understanding… and goes deeper into humanity’s nature.

Humanity is a creation of God, but God’s so massive, that we don’t know what God is… but when we stop looking for God, we can hear God calling for us to look for ???.
Cause God is many to me, and it was a collective before time began…

Genesis 1:26
“Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;”

That has always been in my mind, but the pronouns were overtaken by the fears of a tyranny, either by bad angels or misunderstood desires… which confused me all my life.

Also the Nuns and Priests were the tyrannical nature of God, which confused me even more, with living in their fear bubbles… but I wanted to love God as a friend, and not fear God as a dictator… that was before I met Jesus in spiritual form in my mind… and became a friend, and a fellow seeker of truth of life.

This all started with ECOWAS… and the snowball rolled down the hill, and since it’s in Africa, it melted from the heat… and God took over.


I‘ve been living in a warzone my whole life. Where manipulations of emotions, is the shots fired, and killing and wounding their victims.

Every forms/aspects of life is connected to the other connections of life… it makes a very complicated maze, of trying to get through this mess, unscathed.

I can relate to everywhere in the world, where there is suffering from political pressures, romance hurts, emotional sufferings, massacres… etc. …It’s too many to list. Use your imaginations to see all of our sufferings, and what can we do to solve it… true love, not love with filled with desire in lustful pleasures… cause that’s not real love, it’s only the icing on the cake.

You have to bake the love cake first, before you put the icing on it.

Every form of love, is an ingredient of the cake, which are many forms/ingredients. This is the recipe, before sexual pleasure… before you put the icing on the cake.

Always protects
Always trusts
Always hopes
Always perseveres

Personal Tastes differ with everyone…
so add your own spices, to suit your own tastes/cultures

Don’t Add these ingredients
NO Boasting= No Yeast
NO Self Centered Desires
NO Angers
NO record of wrongs

“Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.”

That’s my recipe for baking a simple Love cake, before the sweet icings(sexual affections) are put on it, cause if it’s too sweet, it hurts my teeth.

I had a rough life, and my oral hygiene causes sweet pains… I’m not young anymore, the living on the sweet candy of life, causes me more pain, then you can imagine.

Sweetness is patronizing, and phoniness in actions, like artificial sweeteners… Nothing to rely on, it only helps you to swallow the bitterness, you feel though.

Lets love everyone without judgments, or records of wrongs… not like the news media, which is murdering love everyday… with headlines knives.
True Peace to you all


“Mean what they say
Say what they mean
Yeah, the way I see
Might as well be me”

Are the words I use from this song’s lyrics, to counter the need for loving care(Healthcare)…
“You need to be your own doctor”, are the words of Dr. Oh, at Castle Point VAMC 45 years ago, when I first got hurt, and I had in the first stages of my SCI therapy.

I miss those days, when I was young and had vitality… now I’m the old bottle on the shelf, with no vitality, and seeking healing from hospitals, during the the past 3 years from fear based care, was like hitting your head against the walls of medical authorities, that they designed to serve their egos, instead of serving myself with healing.

Well, Might as Well be Me

I need to take control of my own care, and I won’t go into a hospital to dump my care in someone else’s hands, it’s in my heart now… I’m not someone who chooses madness over sanity, but everytime I went into the hospital, they killed my immune system, and I had to recover 3 months before I felt normal again… but I had a stage 4 bedsore everytime I got discharged.

I tried homecare, but that required an hour of traveling time to me, along with an hour of therapy time… which felt like Intensive Care service, me banging my head against the authoritarian wall, which doesn’t serve the purpose of healing… it’s like giving up, and drowning in the black hole of the healthcare system…

It’s not the rabbit hole I want to explore for healing… I have the above song above on repeat, and I just want someone to take care of the sore, and give me range of motion exercises, for the contracted hips from sitting in a seating position for over 20 years.

I know I’m going to need doctors, but I’d rather have an DO, instead of an MD

The ethics based healthcare of Hippocratic Oath, and healing on sensible terms, rather than the dictatorial doctors of today’s medical care… there are a few doctors that are good, but not the majority of modern doctors… they’re all profit driven, with a few doctors that still believe in the Hippocratic Oath.

“…Into whatsoever houses I enter, I will enter to help the sick,
and I will abstain from all intentional wrong-doing and harm…”
“…and I will do no harm or injustice to them…”

It needs to be researched by me… but this is the start of taking my first steps into being my own doctor, well falling all the time in failures, but trying to find the doctors that care from the heart, and not my wallet’s decreasing wealth… to to give me healing, through love from the heart, and not the coldhearted science from profit.

Wish me success, in my search and research for my healing.


Avarice – noun:
1. Reprehensible acquisitiveness;
insatiable desire for wealth
(personified as one of the deadly sins)
      2. Extreme greed for material wealth

Tech & Govt Collusions

Copied From

This is what our country/nation has become… they serve the Big Buck… which is the big bull on Wall Street, and the Central Banks are funding the changes, and spinning us around into a dizzy state… we seek AI, as to deliver us, but AI offers control for the tech savvy only.

We fight between each other, and it’s controlled by the news media and their distractions, as moves on a chessboard. Which stories/data, that they show the public, is a move on the chessboard of life.

With the elite in the shadows, in the darkness playing the game as gods, manipulating the people/public.

I came to this conclusion, after I looked up the definition of Avarice, and I saw the end of the world globally… it was war, and hell in control… which it has been, all along throughout history.

It was quick like a flashback of memories… but it perturbed me drastically.

So, I wanted to write about what I know is true, about the visions I saw.


I don’t want to spread fears, as I just bought an Audible book Propaganda by Edward Bernays, and I’m listening to it now. It’s talking about manipulations of the masses, a sick subject, that of manipulations.

I can’t read anymore, it’s a lot of work, and my eyesight is going bad, and I need to got to the eye doctor and get a prescription for glasses… but I’ve been on bedrest… so I can’t.

I need to chew/think this, and swallow/digest it. I suggest all who read this, and the links, to do the same as me. Think about it critically, before you swallow it, or you won’t understand it, and would feel prejudicial upset stomachs, in the unchewable food.

I’m growing confused by listening to Bernays’ Propaganda, and trying to type what I have learned in today’s teaching session. God doesn’t seem to have conscience of remorse of pumping data through my body, like pumping the septic tanks… I only finding I’m getting fuller, and not emptier… so pumping the septic tanks is running in reverse.

I hope it’s not done to you too.


Silence is the Altar
We Commune with God on

I posted a song called Silence by Ama Lou on FB, and it’s her interpretation of SILENCE with God, and everybody’s different interpretations of God is different… cause God is a massive creature/entity/spirit, and everything we look at is either narrow minded views(Religions, Political, Etc.), or a larger views of the body of God… mostly astronomer’s views of God.

It depends on your perspective of God… cause God covers the whole universe, galaxies/hosts, and other planets, that we have yet to be seen and explored.

I would like to enter the Kingdom of God, without sins/errors/misconceptions, and be like a child growing up with someone giving true love… egos are tainted with errors galore, love from egos, are good intentions that have an expiration date.

I’ve come to that conclusion, from the love I’ve received by my parents, who were very loving parents, but not perfect true love. We learn from our egos about love, and then it’s a life of trial and error to perfect love and truths. We all have lied, whether it’s to ourselves or others, and that’s no way to love… it may be patronizing to convey the truth, with a deceptive veil covering their ugly faces… but we all are beautiful, and should be shared.

I can relate to Muslims making the females wear Burkas, Niqab, Hijab, etc. … it covers their faces from horny males being tempted with sexual desires. Humankind is full of errors they must fight, and overcome, and be holy/clean.

I would like to cover with Burkas, some Males… but they are beautiful too… I would like to rid the world of horniness, the demons that grow it and nurture it, but there is a purpose for them to educate on the sexual arousal functioning, of humankind.

I would like to make Burkas more white, instead of black.


Well, enough of this ugliness, and get back to the void of the altar of Silence, where you’re left alone with your inner voice, and can figure it out on your own… by discerning between the voices of evil and good, it’s like taking your first steps as a child walking.

Eventually, you’ll find your balance, and can stand on your own, and the power of discernment is your first steps in the world, at first you have your parents to teach you about the world, and then you leave your parents, and face life on your own.

Maybe you’ve been abused by your parents, but forgiveness for your parents, cause they might be condemning themselves, and your forgiving them is the first step in finding themselves.
We all make mistakes, and shouldn’t judge their errors/sins, cause they’re their own worst judges.

If they drink alcohol, then they’re in a rut, that they can’t get out of, and clinging to the side, making it a bigger rut, and you need heavy machinery to dig out the ruts…
heavy machinery= AA(Alcoholics Anonymous)

Life is a noisy place for receiving the blessings of solitude & SILENCE… it’s lonely place, cause everyone must be social, but it’s hard, when being social is like a cross on your back.

But it can be done, eventually you’ll see the truth, and overcome the obstacles on your road, but sometimes the obstacles are there, for reasons of reassessment of the road you’re on, there might be better route for you to take.

My question is, where are you going?