Return to About Tomidjah

09 – Tomidjah’s Say – March


Tomidjah’s Journal

Where I talk to myself, and make sense of this corruptible world, and remove the errors from my mind, for sanity’s purposes… when I read, what I’ve written here, in my peace of mind in silence.


It Can Come Down Hard

This song must’ve been done in the New York studio, cause Mike was on the electronic drum kit, when they were just the pads in 1985 … now they have a lot of sensors, to catch every form of vibration or velocity.

It was one of our late nights in the studio… where we get musically creative… and I had this idea of storms in our minds, and all the emotions coming from the heart, mixing with the logic and ideas forming in our brains… it created a mess and created storms, that we had to deal with, or they will control us with windstorms, that wanted to move us, where the wind was blowing.

My mind has grown more, and understands more, or I’m being conned and lied to by the voices in my head… which everyone is being lied to, or told the truth by the voices in your minds.
I could be being conned, or being enlightened… it’s my personal dilemma… as it is with the universal populations of the Earth.

We know nothing, and we’ll progress to next level of the game… nah… I hate comparing it to a game, it takes the feelings/humanness out of the picture… it makes us cold and dead to sensing things, that we need to be sensing to feel the humanity in us.
Who feels human when they’re playing a video game?

You bring your humanness into the picture, and you die, and need to take on another life… which is the reasons for war.

Anyway, this is the last day of March, and I need to start the April page… or delve into the Journal plugins I downloaded for WordPress… and see how they deal with APIs, and if I need to download all the videos, or how to download just the thumbnail and when I click on it, then the Youtube API feeds the video.

You know how it is to get in touch with Youtube or Google… it ain’t easy… and you must think about it more, so you can understand it better… to ask the right questions, and you’re not sucked further down the rabbit hole.

Lost and abandoned down a rabbit hole… been there and done that, many many times.


I went looking for
an inspirational piece

This was a song I wanted to get off my chest… it was smothering my heart… it was just before the Iraq war when we invaded it in 2003… for oil contracts, and not WMD’s (Weapons of Mass Destruction), and a host of other reasons that are classified.

It was mostly looting and robbing their resources, for our gain, and future contracts.

I was against it strongly, but Israeli powers were all for it… it seems they won that battle… and the continuous ethical war goes on… but they didn’t find any WMDs, though they’re paranoia fueled their profits.

I’m going into a rant… I didn’t want to raise my blood pressure… so I need to shut up.

But I liked this song’s production values, cause my heart was in it… I strongly believed in it, and then I had a stroke a year later, just before Election Day in 2004… I was going to vote George Bush Jr. out, only the choices were not in my favor.

It seems that who you vote for, is a fake personality, and what they say in their campaigns, goes on the back burner of oblivion.
Never to be spoken of again.

Uh Oh I’m going into a rant again.


This is the Great Reset song by the Sounds Like Harmony band… I just came on them today, and I like their views and lyrics, but I’m sure they’ll be lining up with the rest of the world’s sinners… cause we’re all a sinners… we make mistakes… errors.

Forgiveness is making harmony within the world… so that we rationalize and reason for the truth, for a peaceful world.

It’s my take on the waves of destruction, from the floods of greed for profits by corrupt corporations, without regulations… and they’re growing wild… with dictatorships and tyranny as the fruits.

I woke up this afternoon feeling like a cooked frog in a boiling pot, to dumb to jump out of the pot, by watching youtube videos… which I decided today is nothing more than a worktable for the creation of lies and truths for propagandists… well maybe not as extreme as that, but pretty close for those who live in the shallow world.

The world is made up of different oceans and seas, and the depths of many of them differ, as we discover more… but we want to explore space too, and the many more solar systems out there amongst the stars, but by then we’ll meet other civilizations, and judge them too like our kind.

By the time we realize, they’re already here, and are talking with us in our minds/thoughts/feelings, trying to teach us to look around us, and judge ourselves before others, it will be too late… I’m just philosophizing/babbling on truths as I see it.

Much like the thoughts in my head right now… like a London city without an A-Z map you’ll get lost in your mind… cause nothing is organized like a grid road system, and you get lost in the series of turns and thoughts/roads… which resembles a spaghetti bowls… where one end isn’t connected to another end.

Where in a grid system, where you build your mind’s architecture of thoughts, it easier to get around in your minds with the grid build.
Main street doesn’t connect to say 54th St, but you know the way to get there… and not feel lost.

I went off on teaching high tangent there… but you get it…
Don’t you?


Frank Turner – Don’t Worry

This song’s ending with lyrics like this:

I don’t know what I’m doing
No one has a clue
But you’ll figure it out
And I might too

So true are the words, but no one knows the divine truth about everything.
Why worry about it?
That’s God’s job… it helps, every little thing you do to help, but not to be so parasitic, that you stop the progression of the forward nature of God.

Oh no, Rich is preaching again… practice what you preach… and don’t worry about it.


This song touches my heart with strength, and insight too… sometimes you need a hard love to see what’s around you, and you’re not blinded by your ego and flattery.

The flatterer is only blowing up your ego balloon, and the more you let him/her, it will pop your ego balloon, and leave you feeling hurt… and depending on your situation, you’ll feel abandoned.

Sometimes you need a hard love, to keep you on course, and see the light at the end of the tunnel, and make sure it’s not an oncoming train.

“Fear incarnate” is the reference in the song, it’ll kill you and not make you stronger, but you can avoid it, and make you stronger… just don’t face it with your own body, if it’s a train… or you’ll be sorry.

Hard love is required sometimes to guard you from doing wrong, and shine/illuminate the surroundings around you, so you see them, and have the common sense to deal with them.

Spotlights are helpful when they shine on what’s around you, and not in your face which will blind you, and raise the fears incarnate, that you did something wrong.

Hard love is a harder love, and not as soft as a pillow… lay on a pillow bed, and it’s comforting, but lay on plywood bed without a comforter, it makes you uncomfortable and restless.

But it’s still love…


Anna Graceman is a singer, that’s special to my heart, as is everyone, that lives and breathes on this world/planet.

I was talking with a friend today to wish him a Happy Birthday, and found out his mother is still alive, he lives in Lebanon, it’s been almost a year I was under the impression  that she passed, from some post he made on FB. … but was woken up to that today, cause he sent me a recording of his voice telling me, what he’s doing on this day.

He said he went to see his Mom and Dad everyday… it just blew my mind, I was under the impression that she passed.

I wish I could remember the FB post, that gave me that impression … but I have a hard time remembering what I did yesterday.
I need to ask Freddy what app he used, to make the audio recordings, cause it seemed to take the burden away from reading it… so you didn’t overthink it, into the dark realm of misinterpretations.

I wish I was a programmer, I would write my own app… but that puts me even lower, than I feel right now.

We all feel things, that bring us down sometimes, and we judge others to a point of condemnation, and then make up justifications for our overthinking, to justify our feelings of critical judgments of others, painted with icings and more lies to top it off.

We all have moments is our lives, where we are wrong about our judgments of others, that we love in our lives… ie., parents, sisters, brothers, and friends… and even enemies.

This world can be saved, not by one man, but by all of us working together, to change it from the HELL it is right now, to welcoming the HEAVEN, that it is in the future.
I’m about ready to give up, cause my mind is fading, as the memories that mark my life with mileposts, are fading too.

I wake up everyday, and ask God why did he wake me, cause I know I can change things, but my blog is the only thing that can change things… we already have a bunch of people giving their versions/views of the world… and it only stirs the pot, and only makes it worse.

I wrote this, while listening to this song, I heard it before since 2014, when she put it out, and now I’ll give it my main attention/focus… and ponder the future of this world… like my plans work.
But that’s all we got, our hopes and plans for the future… we just lack the faith, that makes our hopes reality.


and “Its Over”

Strangers is a song that was written in Alaska with my friend Mike McFee, and he passed away in 2020.  May he rest in peace, he had a rough life with being an epileptic and couldn’t drive, and then he got a driver’s license, and he could drive, but that was short lived… cause they took it away again.

Epilepsy is a weird disease, I think it’s a food born disease, but you can’t prove it.

He was always drinking alcohol, one I wished he quit, and banned him from calling me when he was drunk… but now I wish I didn’t ban him, cause that’s when he is vulnerable and needs love and truth.

Life is a disease to me, we all need love and truth… I’m just making myself depressed with these memories.

We all need strangers to make our lives more interesting and enhance our lives… one he was thankful for meeting me, as he told me many times… but I never told him I’m thankful for you Mike… cause you made my life more gracefully acceptable… I love you Mike and I miss you.

This is totally Mike on the musical sequence from a Korg keyboard(not in the image below), this is one of the many images I have of him.

I just sang over it, that was my contribution to this song… it was at the closing of the Rain Studio in NY, and I went west to Alaska for 3 years, before I moved to Montana.
Its Over was the only words that came to mind, for me… there’s better things ahead.

Its Over



Ashley Kutcher – Survive My Own Mind

The Lyrics are Here

We have the same problem, I’ve been battling these things too.

Hopefully, my moods will change, and I’ll see a clear path to my future’s goals, and the clouds will open up and the Sun will shine down, and illuminate my path, and reveal what is in the shadows.

Or I’ll be graced with a spotlight to shine in the darkness… only to see what’s around me… and then turn it off. To make myself known to the darkness… so they know I’m here.

She’s probably on pharmaceutical regimen to treat her problem, but I’m on the spiritual search for enlightenment… with the communion bread, not as often as I should, but I do read and search the scriptures every now and then.

I want to “survive my own mind”, cause it’s dark in there at times, but always wants to be a sunny day, so I have to wear a fake smile… and shine on the things around us.

And then I go back to my darkness of my mind… and go back to surviving my mind’s experiences… the brightness, and the darkness.

Well, I’ll hopefully wake up, and it will be survivable, and I’ll greet the brand new day.


Sometimes you need a break from thinking of words to say… and you need to go into the black hole of your soul.

Have a NICE Day! 



Soren Kierkegaard is what I compared my character to on FB today.
Overthinking is something that brings suffering to the minds, of pondering over something too long.

Which I’ve been known to do, so I made a comparison of me and Kierkegaard.
But the comparison ends there, cause I can make decisions, and they don’t turn out good, and I’m left with loneliness again.

Anxiety/suffering is a form of worry, till you overthink it to hell, and back again to heaven, and you’re somewhere in between, that road to heaven or hell.

We make the choice… between heaven or hell.
It’s God’s design, my God is a collective of all life, breathing and dead. They exist in a sleeping state, and hopefully they get their rest, cause they’ll be awakened some day from their nightmares or pleasant dreams.

I see life as eternal already, and we don’t need to be saved by religions, they have the keys to our awareness. Jesus died for us, only to make us aware of our own being… and that is our salvation.
I’ve been recruited, at least attempted by all Christian religions, but I did believe in Christ, and I wanted to live with his heart that he gave me.

But religions carry dogmas and chains, that we carry throughout our lives… I’m free first, according to Jesus, and his Spirit conveys that to me daily. Jesus said the many shall come in my name and lie, but we make them rich following their lies/lights, but they’re like shooting stars, you have to look for them to see them… but they’re gone in the blink of an eye.

I’m not anti-religious, though some judge me for that, but they’re just too proud to see their own sins… it’s easier to judge me… but it just makes them feel unfulfilled.

They feel a need to judge and blame, I’m just here to feel the blame.


A Little Love in my Life

I saw this old song that I did in the NY studio, before I understood about sampling and loops technology… it’s all real time playing… overdubs with multitrack recording.

I’m more in love with real time jams, that are flawed in there timings, it makes them unique in their beauty.

Like a beautiful woman without makeup, she’s unique in her natural beauty, and gives you an aura of beauty for no charge… totally free… It’s like free jams, you go where you go in your jams, and sometimes you get lucky and practice it, so you can repeat it… sometimes you change it, and make it better than the lucky discovery.


This next song is soul searching of good memories of my life with friends.

Here is another real time creation in the NY studio.


Spring Is Here

Spring is here today. The first day of spring deserves a song.

This song was done before Mike joined the studio, so I’m not sure if he’s included on the backing vocals.

I had a problem loading it up on SOUNDCLOUD, I filled it in the data, but I had someone hacking me… I can try to break their connection to me, and hope they are not connected to me… it maybe someone hacking soundcloud.

And I’m there at the wrong time… I wrote this thing in 1987, if I remember right… Mike didn’t start till 1990-1991.

It’s a short song, and the words, is what came out of my mouth at the time…

The “Rain Will Fall”… it seems every spring will bring the rains… as I’m hoping for this year too.

Since Winter snow came earlier this year, November 1st, and went through December till New Years Eve, and then the rains started, and all the snow settled and iced over, and then the snow started again in at the end of February and the beginning of March, but I feel another snowstorm is in our future… hopefully there will be no leaves on the deciduous trees.

Cause I hate broken branches.


Mockingbird is Still Alive

I thought this was dead and forgotten, and the EU gives rise to it… with the propaganda tools of the Operation Mockingbird, where mainstream media is used for propaganda purposes.

It’s worldwide now, propaganda fills every news-stream by some govt trying to hide their crimes… govt is a dirty job.

It should be honest, instead of spreading propaganda, which is only as true in the shadows, but when light shines on it, we see it as false as it is.

Both Russian propaganda and US propaganda, is only covering up the war crimes on both sides… I’m beginning to like the song Mockingbird had a Red Shield again.

And the Banking industry is falling apart right now… the corruptions are out of control… they kill themselves with their greed and no maintenance/customer-service.

The bank runs start today… just because I say it… it’s my own personal propaganda… it keeps me sane in this insane world.

Propaganda’s Funeral to
Be Announced in the Future of Humanity


2Rains – Feel The Rain

I‘ve been thinking about feelings, and the new Language of the Heart I’ve been learning over the last year… where feelings are the new words… I have to dissect the feelings where sadness comes in categories, intensity and mildness, it gets confusing, and makes me sad and depressed.

But I’m a self learner, I learn it myself… proud and blind, with little tidbits of others to the mix.

I share what I know of the tidbits of others, cause I don’t see it as mine, and it should be shared with others.

The thoughts are our understandings of words and languages, but there is so much more to understand, it covers the whole universe, and things we haven’t yet discovered.

Rain to me is the blues, that spark the songs, paintings, experiences, expressions, art, etc. … we all want to express ourselves to the world, so that we feel we have a purpose… but sometimes it gets darker and darker, so that it leaves us in despair in the blackness of the shadows… but you still breathe, and want to express yourself to give you hope again.

I’m kind of in that feeling of despair right now, I don’t know what to think… do I live in Alice’s Wonderland, until I overdose on fantasy, and gain nothing, or do I go live in the real world… which isn’t much better than Alice’s world, it’s dealing with the medical industry, which I did for 3 years now… and it sunk me deeper into despair.


But I’m still breathing, but no healing… cause I don’t heal with dictatorials by doctors, cause they are just as stupid, trying to put the puzzle pieces together of the human body… sometimes I know more than them.

Bedsore specialists I need, but nowhere is that title.

“Stage 4. The area is severely damaged and a large wound is present. Muscles, tendons, bones, and joints can be involved. Infection is a significant risk at this stage.

I copied and pasted it from the John Hopkins site… but it does me no good, cause I know more about my body, than the doctors I met in my 3 year dealings with them, though some showed their understanding of me… my feelings anyway.

Anyway, this is getting too narcissistic for me, and getting into a hole, I will not be able to get out of.

So, I better stop typing.


This is the way I feel today, while I ponder through the youtube videos about the world around me… and I ask how do I get out of here.

Silence is the answer,

I’m still waiting for the Creatine to get out of my system, and my spasms are retreating, as times is passing.
So, I think it was Creatine, I need to get it out of my system… it should be a water soluble supplement, and you just piss it out of you, if it’s too much.

Well, I stopped the taking of Creatine, and I’ll see what happens.

This is one of my songs that I’ll end this post with… I still have the muscle spasms, that think it is creatine related… I’m 65 years old to those who don’t know, and I’m in a wheelchair and on bedrest from a pretty bad deep down to the bone bedsore… and that’s why I’m taking Creatine, to see if it’s creating more muscle.
From what I researched about it, you get older, and less creatine is in your muscles… so I’m experimenting on myself, much more than the profit based MD’s do with healthcare today…

But it brings me back to this song… we must fight Bitterness to keep LOVE alive in the heart.



Silence on this Day

I need to think before I type, any words that I say can be misconstrued at will, by the situations that you’re going through right now… it may be a side effect of Creatine I’m taking, or maybe not… but I’m in a fog of thoughts, ranting of the economic mess, that the nation is going through right now.

And this song is the reason why… it’s my interpretation, and it doesn’t have to be yours…


Creatine –
Finding the Right Dosage

I started using Creatine just the other day, a total of 2 days… I bought it before the Pandemic in 2020, but then I got sick. It’s supposed to be natural created by the body through seafood and red meat, but synthetically it requires testing… 5 grams(about a teaspoon) is just too much for me, it makes it hard to pee/urinate.

I had that problem from eating too much shrimp before, must be the levels of creatine in them too, is the only thing I can conclude, from watching what I eat.

But 1 gram is one thing I will try, since it’s produced in the body naturally, or I eat the shrimp I bought recently, and is in the freezer, because of the reviews of collagen boosting that I saw on Youtube.

And it makes me feel lazy, and I’ll get fatter and fatter, cause I don’t work out anymore…
Here is Creatine 101, it has more info about it.

Well, this is a short entry to the journal… and it covers what I’ve been going through… the bedsore is down to the bone, and I need to experiment on my own… with something naturally produced by the body… I just need to find the right dosage.



Tech “Singularity”
is Here Already

It’s evolving as I type, the Singularity is hoping to take us over as humans.
I tend think of that as being taken over by tyranny, as far as I see it… where logic rules under a dictatorship like rule, where you follow instructions without questions… or critical thinking.
You just do it.

I bought the book by Ray Kurzweil called The Singularity Is Near, and I managed to get through a couple of chapters, and thought the guy was over and off his rocker… spouting his crazy visions of the future.
I don’t know what he was seeing in his mind, but I thought he’s crazy, if his visions that are in his head, that he thinks will happen, the way he sees them.

I have to agree with him, that anything is possible, it needs to be searched out, it may not be what you predicted, but there is always room for betterment in the design.

Remember that everything is interconnected with everything else that exists, micro/nano too… and even smaller still, but has not been discovered yet.

What if we are the size of ants?
To the giants of the Jack and the Beanstalk story, and our singularity has taken over our humanity, does that make us an army, to go to war with the giants. We are led by pride into war against the giants.
One feeling that limits our critical thinking, is pride.

It’s like a programming language, that pride is, and it comes with instructions to fight, no matter if you’re right, or if you’re wrong… pride is the illusion of light, and you’re blinded by the light, and follow it like a moth in the night, banging your head against the wall, flying at the outside light… or “you find modern technology”.



Polly – Making Predictions
Based on Assumptive Lies

s a danger of creating our God, one that is imperfect is creating the perfection… it doesn’t make sense.

Polling is a completed judging the overall populations, by polling a small group with weighted questions.

The game of semantics in a world full of different languages, it gets lost in the translations, between them.
Polls in the election process is the functioning of misinformation and disinformation among the people.

I’m too upset right now… to finish this… to come up with a sound sentence, and make sense to anyone reading it.


I saw this by Emma Timlin, and I wondered who was Daisy Jones & The Six, so I went searching on Youtube, and found out it was a made up band for a series, with actors… though they might have talent like the Monkees or the Partridge Family, they aren’t a real band, though some play musical instruments, but they were formed by the TV industry.

It made me think about new songs and every entertainer, doesn’t write their own songs, they pick it from the list of songs, and they take it, and present it their way to the public’s ears.

No heart in it, it’s more for their ego and fame.

I can be overly cynical, and turn it into a conspiracy of the entertainment industry, lying to us for our entertainment. Which is what every movie already does, so I surrender to the liars and masters of deceptions.

But I relieve them of the shadows, that they carry for their fame, and ego’s large appetite.

It reminds me of Jabba da Hutt, making plans of a takeover.

The Music industry is a den of thieves, that don’t want to write their own songs, but exploit the songs that already have been written. The scripts that have been written are for only one sided contracts, in exchange for fame and egos in chains, they sign their rights away for copyrights sake… it’s all in the marketing.

The marketeers are forcing their ads down our throats… I went through that in the 60’s when I made TV commercials, and you lied to me back then, so I feel if I don’t surrender now… (The Marketeers) you’ll never reveal the truth to the public, and you’ll continue to exploit them/us.

I see, and I am recording your deeds.


Religions – Taoism

Pronounced “Daoism”, the “T” sounds like a “D”.
I saw the truth in that statement in the philosophy class of my studies of religion in college in 1983.
It was a Christian College which went bankrupt (SJC College,Sitka,AK), but they had a class on international religions, and that’s where I was introduced to the Taoist philosophy/religion… and I saw a truth in it, as every religion seeking the divine has a little part of the truth.

Jesus taught me that in John 6:56-58, I think that’s why the Bread of Christ (Catholic’s Eucharist) is a little white circle, but we got no wine to drink it down… we were too young to drink.
But it made sense to me, to justify my view of Taoism.

Like the Yin has a little part of the Yang in it, and so the opposite for the Yang, it has a little part of the Yin in it too. This video explains it better, than I can.

I used it as my symbol for my FB Page, which was called Positive and Negative, and now is called Tomidjah’s Thoughts, and after the name change, then came the pandemic, and I developed my bedsore, and the last three years has been like a prison for me… hospitals are in the profit business, and NOT the healing business anymore.

I have to recover for 3 months after I get out, cause they kill my immune system… they say they strengthen my immune system, but I beg to differ. IV Antibiotics need to be run for 6 weeks, and it kills everything… including my immune system.

Anyway, a quick vent of a pressure of thoughts… and now there is relief… and I need to work on Tomidjah’s Thoughts again… I went and looked at it, and features were taken away… Cause I wanted to share it with Rich Mc Tomidjah(FB Profile), and it did nothing, but share it with the page I was on, Tomidjah’s Thoughts.

FB is going down… since the pandemic started, I’ve been trying to stay afloat, along with FB… I liked the old style FB before you had to go to an advertisement page, to see all the news about your family, when the old way was create your own profile, and the news of the family was in the upper right corner, without advertisements.

Then they sprung a leak in their model… and people were leaving.
The World Wide Web is just that, where we go to get trapped with consumerism and die happy and content.

Death is like a spider that cocoons you into a webcasing, to eat you later, but I never saw a spider eating anyone it caught… why did God create spiders?
I stand corrected here.


AI & Music & Singing

This made me think of doing a piece on AI, and it’s musical connections to singing.
Since Chat GPT 3 came on the scene about 4 months ago, who knows, if it isn’t a con by con men, or some very intelligent people… I hope it’s the latter, but my paranoid side is weary of it being the former.

We all get marveled by the new AI tech, we only get to see what they came up with about a year ago, and it’s goes to consumer field.
I imagine, it’s much more advanced then these useless tools, they are fishing for profits to be made.

It scares me, and it answers the question why the push by tech companies for a UBI (Universal Basic Income) model. Which will put the civilization under the control of tech companies, cause they are in control of all aspects of our finances, and it goes into that you can’t change the money easily, when they turn it into programmable digital money, and the paper fiat money disappears, and digital money replaces it.

I’ve been getting UBI, since I was in a wheelchair from my disability pension from the Govt, for over 44 years ago, with the cost of living increases added some years.
When it started I was getting $2500 per month, and now it’s $9000+ per month.

It’s getting scary,  cause I can’t do math anymore, and I don’t care about money… so the thought of the govt putting me out of my house with the Eminent Domain provision in the Constitution of the US, I’m glad I have my house paid for, and they are stealing it from me.

I’m old and tired of living in this world, it’s getting more and more complicated with AI now on the scene, and unless you surrender to AI big brother, you’re under the control of the big tech companies, which are greedy corporations, though some are mild and good, there are the shady ones who are not happy, and make their living from scams.

Don’t get me going about Fascism/Corporatism, I’m not ready to go into another long rant.

When AI went into my art form, I feel they are stealing from me… ME is a very narcissistic term… it’s everyone who gets benefit from making music… not just me… it’s EVERYONE.


Triumph – Magic Power

I was amazed from this song from in 1981, when it came out…

I’m not “young, and wild, and I’m free” anymore, I’m old and enlightened, and locked in my stubborn ways… which is different from my younger days.

And my knowledge of music production, is what I dropped out of college for, and I saw the darkside of the music industry. And the cost of equipment in the production, was more than I saved from my dropping out of college from paying tuition, it was almost 4x the cost… depending on the perspective.

I spent more money, that’s what education costs…

It depends on what time you choose to educate yourself, and what subject you choose… it depends on all things, the beginning of the subject you choose, and the ending of the subject, cause they’re both have different data… it covers the roots in the beginning, and the fruits in the ending.
To separate parts of the tree of knowledge.
But it’s one tree, but the networks are two.

Like a man and a woman, one human race, but two different parts. And they are at eternal war with each other, the woman is like the fruiting section at the top of the tree, including the fruits, branches and the leaves… such a social creature, though some are silent, and waiting to see an opportunity, and then they open up.

The Man is the roots of the tree, and supplies the nutrients for the flowering, and until the fruit forms after flowering, then it’s the man’s job to supply the nutrients for life.

That’s marriage… to me.

Two flesh living as one flesh… and then you die.

My views of music has changed over time, I see it as the reality that it is, both dark sides and the bright side, as the reality of life itself. The dark sad times of life, and the bright and happy times, which do you choose to understand, and educate yourself on.

Life without music is hell alive in your souls… I saw this piece of knowledge on youtube… and so I did further research, and came up with this article.

To sum it up, the name of God is “breath”,  inhale and exhale, is the whole name YaHWeH(Originally YHWH)… one positive, and one negative… you can’t do both at the same time.
Or you have a spastic fit moment, like you die for a moment… it’s like touching the battery terminals on car battery, negative and positive terminals with a conductive element at the same time, you get sparks.

My battery is already draining, but “Breathe” to the Jews, is what Jesus learned and taught, is the name of God(Yahweh)… also “spirit” is indirectly translated from that too. 

“Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness…”

I started this off with a song, I was supposed to type about, but I was drawn to what bothered me… it was like a call from my spirit, which is God to me.

My views of music has changed, more of me wanting to sing the blues, instead of the pop music I was obsessed with, while learning of the darkside of the music industry.

I see the dark and light of the whole life, which is the Taoist religion’s view, the duality of life, yin and yang.

Music is what started this post, and God is what ended this post… God is my probation/parole officer, while I’m on bedrest… it may be permanent bedrest, at least until there is change in the US healthcare industry.

My ego needs to be set free… no more probation, I’ll try and reform myself.

I figure just follow the Magic Power, and it continuously bring me back to God, the King of Magic… the sorcerer of tricks, which needs to explain them better, but that will kill all the fun in learning about them.


“The music is not in the notes, but in the silence in between.”


2Rains – Love Has No Desire

This is a good song, but I don’t know if it will play here, there was no API for SoundCloud… I’m just lazy… laying in bed all day… but I’ll try to look into it in the future with SoundCloud, and ask about APIs.

I made this up, instead of using a plugin for journal keeping, and it’s all on one page, and after a month, I need to make another page, cause the APIs from Youtube starts bogging down the page loads.

It’s learning about the tech and its weaknesses, and if I have to look at another way to deliver what’s on my mind. APIs are a great invention, but they have a weakness… I just don’t know what they are right now.

If they are no APIs, then it takes you to their site to play it.

Well, this song is about Love as far as I knew it at the time, and I was confusing it with Lust, the way it was designed to be… to confuse us to the real meaning of love.

This is my take on love, when I realized that love and lust was being presented to the people as interchangeable, but it is not… Love is love, and Lust is desirous, and wild burning up everything it touches, like an uncontrollable parasite, virus, and fire.

You need to understand that, if this conversation is going to be productive…
Oh I’m just talking to myself.  😛 

Well, it seems to play without going to SoundCloud, without an API… it takes another job off the list.

I bought a domain name (4(FOR) Raw Audio Internet Networking Sites) for networking between the audio streaming sites, it’s a dream of mine, that I came up with it over the last 30 years of my life… spontaneously without planning, so it changes without notice.

Its growing like a tree… if someone else is into it, then you have youth, as your energy, and mine is dying out… like an old battery.


Vice News –
US Power Grid
to be Attacked

It’s talking about certain right wing groups, making instructions up how to attack our Electric substations, and then watch the nation crumble… thus fulfilling the Khrushchev prophecy of ruining the US without firing a shot.

According to this article Khrushchev never said that. So I stand corrected, even the info wars that were predicted by Ex-KGB Yuri Bezmenov intelligence officer that defected, and were on talk show in the US.

I‘m sick of the terror spreaders of FEAR, making wars at whims… cause they see a gain to be made, whether it’s money or power.

I was sickened by the war on peaceful living, it’s going on around the world in different nations.

I use the President FDR’s words from his 1933 inaugural speech, “the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself”.
It was about the New Deal and taking power away from the banks and lending institutions, and giving power to the public… it was a weird time in his presidency, alcohol prohibition was overturned, and then a couple of years later Marijuana was made to be the enemy, and was put on prohibition/illegalization.

Fear is the political propaganda machine with strings attached to Fear’s hands, and to US to manipulate at will. When Fear is the puppeteer, we can be manipulated with the many emotional strings, that’s linked to our hearts… cause that’s where Fear lives… the heart.

He lives in our hearts, which is emotional territory, and it feeds ideas to our brains… and we can become deluded with lies, or we can become enlightened with the truth.
The delusions we need to fear, and out of balance enlightenment too… cause both extremes lead to more problems.

It Clouds/Fogs our views with pride, so that we don’t see what’s around us clearly.

Which is now, for ME.


Noam Chomsky
Manufacturing Consent

I want to comment on this shortened version of Manufacturing Consent, if you want to see the whole documentary then click on the link here.

The society is in spin mode, where you’re stuck to the sides like the amusement ride, by the centrifugal force of the spinning ride of propaganda.

I got bored with the documentary, unless he said something I didn’t already know, but I learned a lot too, about our society.

He spent all of his life studying our society, and making judgments, and making other books too.

Noam Chomsky’s book Manufacturing Consent the link to Amazon is here, if you want a free version of it is here.

I bought the kindle and audiobook of it, and I bought a used book of it too, in case the internet goes down… if I die, then whoever is still alive, will have a used paperback of it at least.



Click the CC Button for Lyrics

I felt this way all my life, but I sought God, cause God was my salvation from this life.

Then I learned about Jesus, and the Catholics turned him into God, through the Trinity principle, but the early Christians never heard of what he teaches, and decided to make another round of Pharisees that wanted power to rule over the people… with the Catholic church.

I forgot it was to cheer you up, and not go into a rant on what’s troubling me.

“Nobody picks up their phone”, probably because it’s another telemarketer call trying to sell you something, that you don’t need.

I wrote this having a collection of telemarketers trying to sell me a subscription to a magazine, or some other scam… it really pissed me off, so I wrote a song about it.


I‘ll leave you with that seed/thought/enlightenment, and hope you find what you are looking for, cause I haven’t yet.

We all cringe when the phone rings, and it makes us not want to answer… especially when you’re busy doing something else… which leads to paranoid thoughts… which is like a snowball getting bigger and bigger rolling down a snow covered hill… and when it ends you feel stupid and lonely… and the paranoid monster is hysterically laughing at you.

This is my journal, and I’m just randomly venting/ranting.

This is the Kinks with the song “Destroyer” and I would like to thank Bill Reid for making this.


Transcendental Meditation
and Religion

Maharishi explains his views, and he’s a very wise man, and he likes to giggle a lot. Humor when you feel it for real, it has a healing effect on the body.

What I need right now… laughter is the best medicine.

This is the George Harrison’s of the Beatles guru, well all the Beatles really. They broke up after they visited India, and then began to see their differences, and their different views of life.
There was a scandal preached by the news/media, and wanted to put in its/news/media sort of light, to take away from the truth’s sort of light.

Anyway, before I begin a rant, which will fade into a leak out of my sides.
Watch the whole video, there is a lot to learn here, about your searchings of your life.

There was a little hiccup at the end of the video, some audio was missing.

This is a quote by the Maharishi:

“There is no opposition to Christianity –
I love Christ very much and he must be enjoying with all this growth of infinity in the individual life, because “find the kingdom that lies within you” I think has been the main teaching of Christ.”

So, I see his point clearly, and I can relate to George’s attraction to the truth coming from the reasonings of Maharishi. Reminds me of the serpent misleading Eve into eating the forbidden fruit, which God banned them from it evermore… and God took away the fruit of eternal life… and set death before us… until we find a way around it.

So, I can see the truth in everyone’s words, and everyone’s reasoning abilities.

Well the current of the flow of this rant is fading from me now, so I’ll not bore you with my internal searchings, which are hidden from you.

“Nothing is so difficult, as not deceiving oneself.”
— Ludwig Wittgenstein


Sam McGovern – Memory

I was thinking the same thing, but I question myself, and that it never changed anything, but myself… but nothing in the world around me.

I guess I could become a dictator, and rule with an iron fist, and no longer wear my heart on my sleeve… but that is what is making what’s wrong with this world today.

“If I move from this town” … will I be a memory?

Or be forgotten in the busy troubles, which is comparable to the fogs of society… you lose sight of me, and I go into oblivion, the forgotten memories of love.

I’m so depressed, I was hoping that this month would be better than last month… but it’s closer to the Spring, and the last year’s winter, is fading away.
Soon, there will be the rains, and the new growth will start, and the Sun will shine it’s light, and it’s warmth will protect from the frost, that brings the Fall again.

I wonder, if Summer will be forgotten this year, and we’ll never see it… rush in a flash, in the blink of an eye, and the darkness of Autumn will take hold again, before the snow, which started in November 1st this last year.

IDK, I have this song playing on loop… and the memories are fading, as fast as they appear, like staring into a strobe light… it’s hypnotizing of the depression Monster.

I should shut it off… perhaps, then life would look better… sweet memories to you.