Delusions of Fame and Fortune

— Delusions of Fame and Fortune : A personal story —



This is NOT me.

Delusions with a gain, like fame and fortune are always a trap, much like the mousetraps of today.

With the bait and trap, and if it’s not death, it is a wicked pain to say the least.


I did commercials when I was a kid about 8-10 years old. They paid me. I felt trapped by delusions in my mind, and other’s deluded by the images of me in their minds. So I told my parents, that I didn’t want to do commercials anymore. They loved me, and didn’t object, but they didn’t hide their disappointment.

It got me out of school to say the least. It was a lot of wasted work to go to Manhattan all the time for interviews, to see if I fit the job. I got used to the subways at least, but that was when I was a little kid.


The Move to the Catskills

Then when I was going to High School, we moved upstate NY in the Catskill mountains. That was a culture shock for me, cause I knew nothing of country life. I watched a cow for hours chewing cud staring back at me at the neighbor’s farm next door.

They called me strictly, a city slicker. The nickname they gave me for my first year in high school.

I learned that they were gullible, and believed whatever I said was true about the city. I’ve always had a guilt trip for lying. Lying was always a trap for me, like remembering what the last lie you told, and if it conflicted with the new lies you were telling now.

So, that went on for a couple of months. When we went up in the Summers before starting high school, and I decided to come clean on all the lies I told them.


Traps in Disguise

The commercials were a trap, the culture shock was a trap with the lying, and I broke free from those traps to meet many more in my life. Everything I did was a trap, be it the ego traps of fame and fortune. A trap that surprises you, and is like flypaper, difficult to break free from.

Denying is a major trap, and just because you deny it, is a trap in itself. You thought of something that displeases you, and you deny it, so you don’t have to think about it again. It’s like you forgive someone, but you’re always reminding them of their wrongs.

You don’t forgive them, you just say you do, and then deny it.


Plausible deniability is a major trap in the political system. Where the corruptions, and errors can build up like clogs in your arteries and veins.

Ego traps are ego trips. Once they start, it’s hard to stop without breaking down. Plausible deniability with blaming someone else for your failures.

Their failures, are your failures. There is nothing plausible about it, unless you are a plausible liar. Which is another way to say it, is a truthful liar. It doesn’t make sense.


Fame was what I sought. I was on an ego trip my whole life, and I was constantly denying it with plausible deniability. Blaming others for my failures, and constantly seeking success. I was like a chicken/rooster with her/his head cut off, thrashing around from nerve’s reflexes uncontrollably.

I was dead. When I finally came to my senses, and stopped thrashing around. I had no direction for what I was supposed to do next.


The Traps in Reality

The conclusions are not to be trapped in this world, and retain your freedoms from contracts with the selfish evil ones. Many are their names. There is not one you can blame, but beware the contracts that carry fame and fortune. Read it with fine tooth comb, and don’t sign it without signing away your rights to your property.

I signed away my rights, with the many things I signed with my enlisting in the service. Also, I signed away my rights, with the many contracts with the banks on getting a mortgage.

The devil is always making you sign contracts to witness of his doubts, rather than your good faith. He honors your good faith, but he always doubts your faith, and needs a contract, or a crutch. The contract, is made legally binding in this world, and it is a crutch for him/them, and his/their kind to lean on.


Rather than teach good faith in schools, they rely on common core to confuse the masses.

The devils are the many demons, called anger, confusion, jealousy, greediness, and corruption…etc.

I’m not talking about some delusional figure with a pointy tail and carrying a fork, but the core of our imperfections that we call demons.

It makes no sense for me to talk about someone so delusional. They inhabit ourselves, just like our angels. They argue in our thoughts everyday. Sometimes the devils wins, and sometimes the angels win. We are just the battlefields of good and evil. We are living souls, we don’t have souls.

Breathing, we are just the living and dying battlefields of good and evil. We are the walking dead when we go to bed, and alive and breathing every morning, when we wake an get out of bed.



Fame and fortune is a trap, to say the least.

There are many networks in this world, almost as many synapses in the human brain, and beyond. The numbers are numberless, and the imperfections covering those networks are numberless too.

Count your blessings, and don’t be trapped by your curses, cause it’s a mystery, what lies in and beyond our world.

Just live and be happy, the contracts of the world will have no hold on you. They’re just legal crutches for the crippled of the world to get around on. Their power will one day cease to exist. Mankind will be free from the prisons of authority. Laws will be written in our hearts and minds, rather than paper.

Don’t be trapped by fame and fortune, just breathe. There’s nothing there, unless you want to ride the ride… just know it’s a ride.

We can coexist in peace… not war.

It just takes a lot of convincing on your part, to sway the powers that be.

I have no ambitions, but to breathe my next breath…

I’m alive by grace alone.

Donkeyboy – Caught in a Life