into different layers
Emotions can be seen as a vibrational force, and time is involved too in the equation… but that confuses me now… so I’ll just deal with what I imagined about emotions on the philosophical level.
I hope I articulate the thoughts I came up with clearly and understandably, and no noises/confusions come through.
I this was inspired from a youtube video measuring light speed, and emotions replaced lightspeed in my mind, and I saw it as a vibrational force. And traveled by thought speed, which is almost as fast as light speed, but not quite as fast…
In my questioning, it’s how much slower than light speed, and how you measure the thought speed?
There is so many unknowns that are incorporated, into thought speed…
All the emotions are in the brain too, and is governed by it’s processing speed, but where did it come from, was it internal or external, by the words of others that you listen to, and you make moral and ethical judgements on, or virtual ethers, and travel at etheral speed, which might be faster than light speed.
It’s like Mork and Mindy with a thought speed for his reports to Orson, which can be hyper light speed, and almost instantaneous, traveling with only the power of thoughts. I thought it was stupid when I first saw it, but now I see it in a new light, from a different perspective… and it resembled my meeting of God in my mind only a year before.
So, I had a lot to figure out about life, and how it’s changing on the river of life and only observing, as an observer only, like Mork, but you want to get involved… and that’s where the tension in my mind lives.
What color will I choose to paint with? What emotion do I use, blue, white, or red… and a whole host of other colors/emotions.
You see and you want it, but you know you can’t touch, but the desire is always there to touch the situation, and that’s the tension that represents our pains.
It’s connected with our emotions, and we feel it deeply…
Where it is either internally, and connected to our hearts , or externally in the ethers.
Some may see it differently, from another perspective, but it’s about the mystery of life, and everyone sees it, but it goes by unnoticed by some.
Life does not have a sign labeling it, which would make life easier, but also time consuming… we should be like children at play, and enjoying life without trying to figure it out.
I would like it all to make sense, but there are conflicts with different cultures, and beliefs, and also misunderstandings between words and translations, with so many different languages.
I’m an artist, I have a hunger to create artsy things, that I see as original, but with a world of greedy people, they say I stole it… photography, paintings, music, and a whole host of other artistic natures, that people claim copyright, as if they own it, without buying it.
I wanted to donate to some free picture site, I think it was Pixabay, and they refused it, cause they thought I copied it. I took a photo of the moon over the Swan Mountains… I liked it, and was proud of it.
When I tried to share it with everyone, it was rejected… it hurt my feelings.
Well, not really, but I was disappointed… and went on.
I shared my music, and it wasn’t accepted as good music… cause I produced it myself, or didn’t get it produced by a professional. Well, whatever the reason was, it might have been the bad EQ… I invested my own money and produced it on a cassette tape, that might have been my mistake… cause CD’s were in fashion then.
So I went to graphics and video, and started doing productions with the NewTek Video Toaster in the late 89 or early 90’s… I was the first person to buy it, cause of the hype with video production and 3D graphics.
I was a sucker for the hype back then, as all consumers were… we’d bite at the first marketing trending hype.
Of course there was so much to learn about it, it never occurred to me I had limited resources and time to learn it.
Then I had the stroke in 2004 on my birthday, and I had to look at music in a whole new light/perspective, and started listening to other artists, and not just myself. I couldn’t play anything anymore, cause of the stroke, which will be twenty years this coming Fall 2024.
I had 20 years to listen to others music, and come up with ideas for my own music, but it requires practice, and I don’t have time anymore, or the hunger to practice… it seems that music is rhythm and repeating patterns, with slight variations with several measures… so I got into copyright free loops editing, and was amazed by the musical creations, I created.
So, I lost an amazement for music creation, and realized music was created by a lot of sampling loops, for movies productions, and soundtracks… with an occasional songs by artists… which is why I started this… cause I’m an artist, but I haven’t found my talent yet.
Except writing, there was an English teacher at Sitka College(SJC), that said I had a talent in writing, then I went to NEC campus in New Hampshire, and the Arundel in the UK, and was turned on to the musical talents, and how to produce my own songs.
So after that narcissistic whirlwind of wildness, I invested all my money into recording equipment, and stopped practicing, I was more high by producing, and what’s new to buy.
It made me broke and in disrepair… I felt like a failure, and had to realize that there is so much music out there, old and new… and was better than my poser music… even though they were poser music too, they said different lyrics from another perspective.
I guess I need to listen to some music, that I like, and not be such a poser.
And practice what I learned, from listening to other musician’s music over the last 20 years.
The different techniques in the productions using original loops, and not poser material… it would only be therapy for me, and make me grow more originally creative.
I guess I could look at life in emotional layers spectacles/glasses, and try to make sense out of life, however strange it is… and be happy with that.
Maybe I’ll try writing again, and feed that talent, instead of these essays in blogs.
I just always wrote stories that led me to the paradox of time traveling, and I got lost in the paradoxes, and gave up trying to find my way to normality. The paradoxes were like a twisters/tornadoes that spun me around off my feet… and left me dazed and confused.
It was like running into a brick wall… so I gave up, and went back to recording music.
I’m all over the place… with seeking answers to life itself… and what is the reason for even trying… since King Solomon saw it as “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”, in the Old Testament, the book of Ecclesiastes
Somedays I start with a fuse, and hope to see the fireworks start, but I see only bombs that starts wars.
It seems you can’t win, you’re dammed if you do, and dammed if you don’t… it’s a catch22 world. I would like to be thankful for breathing, but sometimes I can’t breathe without effort, and sometimes I do breathe easily.
It’s all grace, and all vanity.