— Wrestling with Indifference —
Swimming in a sea of indifference, and no islands where you can stand on solid ground and make sense of your life, but always swimming to the point of exhaustion.
I would welcome the ability to walk on water, like Jesus, in a world of indifference, you need it.
When you don’t care about your own life, and are asked to care about another’s life, you give them a smile like a balloon to carry away from your encounter, but it does nothing for their problem, as it does nothing for your problem either. Only a smiley balloon that gives you hope, but it needs the faith to walk on water, that would wipe away all of our indifferences, and create a long line of islands where everyone could take the time on solid ground to get their bearings on life.
I’m a dreamer, which makes my indifference unbearable, cause I look to express myself and unload it upon others. Where I’m a river feeding the sea of indifference.
So let me pile junk to make islands, so that those who have swum enough to the point of exhaustion can take a break. It’s much like the string of islands that the media and the entertainment industry that have been formed from the wastedness of dramas that serves no purpose, but to be where you gather your strength to go on, or sit and enjoy the time you have been given.
I look for an island to gather my strength, but there are sirens on all the islands, they sing a good song, but they’re just empty songs. The song fades every time I hear it, there are a few good hooks, that capture men/women for only the capture, and then they’re released. So like Solomon, I see the world as vanity, what’s the point of living, if it is to die. There must be some saving grace to this life.
If we all die, what could be made possible that all disease and sorrow be caged, so that it never bothers our paths again. We make cancer, we can cure cancer, but the doctors frown on the word cure, they make big business out of it, and if we pushed the cure, then they would go out of business.
There is already many cures for cancer, but because they can’t make money off of patents, you never hear about them. That is a lap around the pool of indifference.
When you go out into the sea of indifference, you go out into the world with many cultures, languages, religions, politics, and the waves of choppy waters related to cultures where indifference abounds to the point of sea sickness.
I’ve been drowning in indifference for over 50 years, and fast approaching 60 years.
I would like to create islands at my whim where people could get a break from exhaustion, especially the landlubbers that stray out too far into the sea, unbeknownst to them that they went too far out to get back.
I’m looking around me now, that I have journeyed too far out to make it back, so I choose to make an island out of nothing, but a memory, the memory of some pointless drama in my life, where I could stand and gather my strengths and weaknesses, and assess my predicament, and make sense of this pointless drama…which may be a temporary float, a life preserver that keeps me from going down in turmoil of hopelessness.
This week with Charlie Hebdo shootings is a turbulent sea of indifference, and the new issue of the same shit is a recycling of indifference, just because the cartoons make you chuckle, it doesn’t cure you, it only makes it easier to swallow…you are still left with the disease of indifference.
When a person sings about drowning, this is my drowning, in the sea of indifference, not caring, apathy, it’s basically not giving a shit for anybody, not even yourself, or it’s only yourself that you’re thinking about, I haven’t figured that out yet.
So if you followed me out on this archipelago of whining, have a safe trip back, cause I’ll make like a whale and dive into the deep and go further into the sea… what’s there to lose.