Suicide, was an idea I thought I’d forget about into oblivion.
I guess even the Black children’s study said 1 in 5 children go through a suicidal choice.
I was always a sensitive child, and was always depressed too. I was a manic depressive, and was always fighting depression.
I’m 60 this year, and will be 61 in a couple of months, and I’m still battling depression.
I remember thinking of suicide at adolescence, when I lived in Brooklyn. I took it as a passing thought, but it never went away. It haunted me, till I had an accident. I was crippled in the accident with a broken back, but I met God, and the thought of suicide was replaced with the holy spirit.
It never went away, but I had the spiritual weapons to combat it now.
The depression was my weakest times, when I have those thoughts. I have to remember, that I have the new weapons, cloaked with the violence of anger. I have to uncloak it from the anger, and defeat my rages, or my depression wins the battle.
Anger is the crippling emotion. When you’re angry, you do stupid shit, and it’s hard to apologize. When you finally see you’re wrong, cause the weight of pride is pushing down on you, so that you never look into the eyes of the person you’re hurting.
Usually, it’s someone you love.
Don’t kill yourself, cause that’s not the way. It would be better for you to realize you’re wrong, and take that tail of pride between your legs, and apologize to someone, or seek the truth of what’s depressing you.
This is a deep subject, and there may be many innumerable reasons for you being in despair of suicide. Killing yourself is not an option, and never will be.
Just breathe and think… hopefully you will find an answer.