PCs & Me.

The New Birth of
Me & PCs Collide.


Me at 3

Click on the pic

I was extremely depressed before my breaking my back, bordering on suicidal, where I tried to OD on PCP, and woke up blind, and told my Colonel commanding officer to “Fuck Off” through a closed door, cause he was knocking on my door to inspect my dorm room… and I had a rough night, and I was trying to OD.

I was a bitter fool, who had no concept of God, except what I learned in an elementary Catholic School (1-8 grade), and it was lacking in the concept of God. I couldn’t believe in him, cause God was Jesus to me… before I had the night talking with God(Jesus)… in spirit, in mind.

It started when I was trying to communicate, with some other part of the universe, in my mind with the telepathic powers of the mind, and was trying to communicate with someone who felt the same way as me… and he(Jesus) was in my mind, and said “I’m all that is out here for you”… and then the ranting started happening, and I started making demands, and proof that he existed.

I just saw the Other Side of the Mountain, where a female skier went off the mountain and broke her neck, and she was confined to a wheelchair… and then I regret my rants, cause I said stupid stuff, and I asked him to make me walk again, but I ended it with:

“you don’t have to make me walk again, cause you gave me a sign already…
I would believe in you forever.”

I was raised by a Mom who was hardcore on telling the truth, and I was programmed to keeping my words… she sent me to be indoctrinated by Catholicism, and then we moved out of Brooklyn, to upstate NY in the Catskills.

Before my narcissism takes over, and I go off on a tangent…
Three weeks later, I had the car accident, that broke my back, and I woke up in a hospital, with my Dad sitting next to me, and he asked me what other drugs I was taking, cause I had a bag of weed in my sock… that the doctors found or the ambulance drivers found it, and told my Dad.

That was before I knew of my broken back, cause I was crippled, and couldn’t move my legs, and my mind went back 3 weeks to the conversation in my mind with God(Jesus)… in spirit, like a mental image.

And I started smiling… as if I was HAPPY. It just screwed up my Dad, cause I was smiling… cause he didn’t understand, what happened 3 weeks before.

Eventually he started to understand, over the years that followed… and I became acquainted with PC programming BASIC language in Sitka, AK when I started College again, and I learned, I had to lie to write a Program, and it was more than I could handle, cause I wanted to learn more about God first… I could learn programming later in life… but I had to progress over the ethical stumbling blocks first.


I was an independent thinker, and stubborn minded… it had to be my way, or no way at all… I was from Brooklyn.
I sounded like an asshole, in that last statement.

Ethics were very important to me, it made me want to learn more about God, and rooted me in the understanding mind, so when the winds blow, it could damage me, but my roots were deep in the rich soils of understanding, and I would heal… and new growth would start to regrow.

Not to be so metaphorical in parable talking, but it explains it, so your imagination takes over… in spirit, in mind.

You can make up your own explanations, so you can understand it in your own way. It’s the best way I can explain about parables, you choose something so simple, and make up new ways to understand it, after the fact, and after you heard the parable.

Parables are the bulldozers in your mind, and clears up the stumbling blocks, that changes the paths, your problem solving thoughts.

Don’t go crazy with clearing your forests, or you’ll regret it… if you don’t weigh it out first, cause once it’s been bulldozed, it’s impossible to unbulldozed, something you bulldozed already.
It will be a permanent stumbling block in your mind… you don’t know what it’s like, till it’s gone.

So that brings me to my first PC in 1983, when I started recording music, and I started progressing to understanding computers also. I took the BASIC language programming, where I had to learn to lie… which Mom had me at odds with that behavior… and I put it on the back burner… I just understood it, as all I needed to know.

Programming is what we were designed by, with propaganda, marketing, advertising, etc., and we are at their commands… life is so much more complicated, then we can imagine… we have to learn the complexities of life, as slowly as children, cause if you rush it, then things go by so fast, that you miss it with the speed.

Of course you can, become bored with slowness, and skip over things, which could make you unprepared, for something in the future of your life.


I want to get back to PCs, and how they changed my life… and how they’re modeled after the human being, so when a human beings are creating something modeled after us, you can bet on what failures will happen… cause your own imperfections will be amplified, to be the interference in the modeling process.

It’s like radio waves, and interference with radio waves, causes static interference noise… white noise… it’s another parable that needs to be explored, cause they hide other doors/thoughts behind the veil/parables.

I had a thought of when I was researching the memories of IBM, and my recovery time in the Hudson Valley of NY, and the people at the hospital I was in my first year of being a crip, and there was an IBM manufacturing plant near the hospital on the way to  Wappinger Falls… that was 47 years ago, so it probably closed down, or moved IBM … AKA  (“I’ll Be Moved”) what the Employees said the meaning for the IBM Acronym.

But the reason for this story, and the reason for the correlation of IBM, and everything is interconnected with the other things in the world, and it brought to my mind the giant network of the World(Earth), and whats beyond Earth, in the heavens, and beyond that too, in other galaxies, and what’s beyond that is a mystery to me… and my imagination is out of reference materials.

I can’t fathom it, in my imagination, cause I don’t have the fuel to reach it.

Our PC models, after us, are only as imperfect, as us, and it won’t change… except in small increments, day by day… like the second hand on an analog clock measuring time.

You know where the saying “Speed Kills”, it came from the mindset of “Haste makes Waste”, and can be slower, than slower mindset, like the turtle and the rabbit race, where the turtle wins. The rabbit falls asleep in his boredom, and the turtle races passed him in his sleep… that could be a parable/veil too.

It just illustrates that you need to be observant, to see what you need in the future… and have the common sense to gather it… and not become a hoarder.

I’m out of fuel, for this post… and hopefully it gives you fuel for your lives… or it’s water in your fuel tank, but water’s still fuel, not to burn, but to grow… every engine is not combustible, our bodies need water… you just need to know how differentiate from gas and water, and what you need the fuel for.