Musical Rut.

Dueling With
The Tech Dark Side.

The DAWs, MPC, Roland, ZenBeats, etc., I don’t know where to begin, but I have thoughts when I log into Siteground, and start blogging…

But I’d much rather work on Music, but when I do, it must be the connection to the internet, cause all the secure programs want you connected online, whether stealthily, or Not, and In your Face all the time…

And Open Source is at a cyberwar, with the closed proprietary source coders, and they are creating a havoc on online, so that you’re being socially engineered by AI, and they don’t hide it.

Not letting you think and create music… but changing and hiding things, down deeper, and deeper menu dives… till you give up or drown.

I would like a DAW with the VST powers, and basic editing functions, and not so many additions that you have a whole host of options, that I’ll never use.

DAWs need to be developed with Ultimate, Medium, and Basic, they all must have VST options.

Beat making options, are a plus for me… I need a metronome to pace my rhythms.

I’ve been 20 years in a stroke prison, and only listening to new music… and I’ve come to conclude I’m lacking, in my musical talents, but I have heart, and I want to share them with world.

The pockets get drained, the more I look for joy with music production, and I’m beginning to think, that it is not a capable dream, without a hole in your pocket.

Cause they always have a new thing, to hook you with, and lead you on another wild goose chase, for an exorbitant price, and you need to assess your dreams, and see if, it’s worth it.

Well, I’m in a rut right now, and spinning my wheels at every turn… but this blog, I can type… that is my extent of musical talent and production, but who knows what tomorrow brings…

I might get rewarded and someone with power, and they will give me my dreams.

That I’ll politely decline… cause I don’t believe in that. I’m more of a graceful belief person. There’s no price to happiness, and survival… but in this world everything has a price.

Which makes it a struggle, to swim upstream to die… and lay you eggs, or sperm to fertilize the eggs, to make a new generations to swim in the seas, lakes, or streams… and life goes on and on, but their is always death, that goes on and on too.

There’s a long list of waterfalls, to climb/overcome in your returning to death, and find the peace, that you did your best.. but you feel, that you failed like the Prodigal Son, and beg mercy from God’s judgment…
You wasted your whole life, and seek the mercy.

I would wish it would end like the parable… but I don’t deserve that ending, I’ve cursed God, many times in my anger rages…

I was blowing up in rages, and you say stupid shit… it’s like your Mother says something to you that you disagree with, and you tell her to go fuck off… but you feel guilty about it, and call her, and say “I’m sorry Mom”.
Anger is a sin, much like depressions is… it’s somethings, that you must learn to control.