Boggles, Boggles, & More Boggles

The definition of Boggle

“To do anything
awkwardly, or unskillfully.”

German Shepard dog with a perplexed head

It will open another new tab

Is one definition at Wordnik, but there are many more definitions.

I woke this morning, and felt boggled in my mind, like I was swimming in a cesspool, and not a relaxing pool with fresh water.

It was then, I went to my email, and there was a quote by Maxime Lagacé’s site of wisdom quotes… I subscribed to his emails a couple of years ago.

“The relentless pursuit of pleasure,
and avoidance of pain, leads to pain.”

Anna Lembke

So, I must be coming to more feelings of pain, cause I woke being succumbed by pleasureful thoughts, and I was lost in fantasy land… dreamland… with old girlfriends, and girls I never met, but I saw on youtube, like an orgy in my mind… but not wanting to be there… it was like I liked it, and wanted to resist it… so I was left with a boggled mind.

We all have fantasies, that we feel ashamed of, but the heart’s desires are always there anyway… and no solutions, are there with them. So you are left unresolved and boggled… and you don’t know the next step or direction, that you must travel.

I came up with this trying to understand coding in open source Linux distros, and I came up with this video of XZ utils and finding a backdoor in the Open Source code, and was overcome with technology’s weight, and sought the pleasure principle instead… cause it was a deep intensive rabbit hole, and I just wanted to pull the covers over my head, and fantasize, and live in a dreamland state of mind.

I woke in the dreamland looking for pleasureful thoughts, and then the technological nightmare, and I retreated to the pleasureful thoughts again… and came up with the BOGGLE definition… the word in my mind was boggled, but I only knew it was a perplexing feeling, but I didn’t know its true meaning… and then I looked up the meaning… which was even more perplexing to me…cause it was bordering on madness and fearful.

So, it became even more, that I wanted to escape, or cower in comfort and relaxation… and fall back to sleep.

a maze

click to see a larger pic

But, I chose to write in my blog instead, of what boggle means… and I still run into walls… like a rat in a maze… which is what the world is… a MAZE.

The world is just a giant maze, we must seek to get out of while the gods watch, and make judgments on our futures, not talking about God, which is the majority of the gods… see I go back to running into walls in my boggled mind… making gaffs in the steps, tripping over my words and thoughts.

Trying to make sense of it, and failing at every turn trying to get out of the maze… I just want to wake up from this dream of life, and face the true reality of the world… which is a technological nightmare, that I want to escape from the AI of it all.

I like natural intelligence instead, of the fake processed artificial intelligence. It serves a purpose, like calculators did in school, with math problems, but my math teacher didn’t allow them, except for complicated theories with numbers… like tables with logarithms.
She liked that we learned to understand them, with our minds, instead of pushing number pads on calculators to solve them.

The line between organic natural intelligence, and artificial intelligence, it is like a guitar E string, that breaks constantly, cause it’s too tight, from tuning by a rookie.

We all are rookies, when it comes to intelligence, we want to tune our understandings of AI, cause it’s our axis of playing in our minds, with our imaginations.

We make such good music in our minds, but when we want to live them, or hear them in the real world, it’s like a mountain we must climb, and it seems like an unscalable task of work, but it will be scaled, if you don’t give up.

It’s just seems like a lot of work… for just a song, that will end in 2-5 minutes, but the memories will last a lifetime. Hopefully, good memories.

Well, I better stop here… or I will reveal more of myself of being a FOOL, with capital letters, and not as wise, as I would like to be.

We all face those moments where reality slaps us in the face, and we are humbled, and hurt by our ego’s misinterpretations of reality… we are just rookies in life, and we make mistakes all the time, and we need understanding… and not rage in judgments of others, or other nations… cause there is no resolution in rage, and only the conflicts born in rageful moments are multiplied, to cause more rageful moments, and so on and so on.

Till you’re in the whirlpool of a flush in the toilet of life… it goes on and on, the sickness of my busy mind… be thankful you’re just witnessing it, instead of inside this hot geyser of a mind.